God Speaks to the Self We don’t yet Know

May 9, 2025/0 Comments/in discipleship, Faith, Inspirational, Purification/by Tom Medlar

God Speaks to the Self We don’t yet Know

Who are you?

What is your true identity, and your role in God’s great design?

To start with, you are not who you think you are, at least, you are not only who you think you are.

It is difficult enough to learn to see yourself as other people see you. Others see so many things that we do not see about ourselves, and how much better off would we be if we could know how we are seen by other people?

But can you learn to see yourself as God sees you?

Only quite partially, now, on earth. That awareness will come fully when you meet God face to face for your particular judgment. It won’t happen on a certain day, because you will have slipped beyond time and this life when you arrive at your judgment before God

Some who are skeptical about God might say, “Oh, you don’t really know if there is a life after death. You might not face God for judgment, because there might just be nothing.”

But they partially know that isn’t true. They might notice that the judgment of each of us is already underway – within us. They might know (perhaps subconsciously), because there is something dwelling within each of us that we refer to by the word conscience.

Our conscience speaks to us

There is something inside of us that we did not create or design, and that we can partially ignore, yet, willing or not, it will trouble each one of us. Conscience will speak to us – most strongly when not bidden. It points beyond our subjective understanding and our personal values or judgments, and it speaks objectively to us about who we actually are, when seen in the full light.

God speaks to who we are, not who we think we are, or wish others might think of us. Our inaccurate image of self is usually a catalog of illusions we’d like the world to believe about us. When God speaks to us, He is not simply addressing our inadequate and incomplete image of ourselves. He is speaking to the fullness of our self, to that which may be outside of our conscious awareness yet is essential to our complete being.

God changes us by His communications to us

When God first called young Samuel in the temple (1 Samuel 3:1-10), awakening him from his sleep, or when God spoke to Joseph in his dreams (Matthew 1:20-21), His first direct approach came from beyond the conscious limits of their sense of who or what they were. His messages informed them of who they were called to be.

When God (Jesus) first spoke face to face in this world to Simon (John 1:42), He referred to who Simon knew himself to be – his name and his parentage – but then God pointed to his greater self, to the self who was known to God – Peter, the rock. God changes us by His communications to us. He points us towards the fullness of who He made us to be, and to the purpose of our part in His greater plan.

God knows us in ways we cannot understand or imagine. He seeks now to address us in ways that are, to us, both conscious and unconscious. We might experience His speaking to us in ways deeper than our conscious understanding without our recognizing it. For example, through piercingly pertinent scripture passages, or one might notice patterns in nighttime dreams, or in the events of one’s life, or prompts that come in subtle ways and surprise us. We might reflect on the persons and situations in our past or present, and come to recognize ways God has been at work.

His message, though, might be misperceived, such as when we feel frustrated by an annoying obstacle to a path or goal we pursue, one which He knows is not right for us. Yet His communications can also be most intimate, direct, and personal.

But there’s more that He already does communicate, and that He wants to communicate to us. There’s always more, because He is always More.

God is always actively engaging and communicating Himself to us, and ourselves to us, as well.

He is guiding us towards the fullness of our true self, so we might meet the fullness of Him, and join in His eternal joy.

Emily Henson

Jubilee: A Coming Out of the Wilderness

April 15, 2025/0 Comments/in Blogging, Catholic Theme, discipleship, Inspirational, Pilgrimage, Prayer/by Emily Henson

Jubilee: A Coming Out of the Wilderness

Years ago, when my dad was stationed in Italy, I was blessed to be able to take part in Italy’s jubilee in 2000. I didn’t think I would get the opportunity again. Jubilees only come along every 25 years and I live far away from Italy now. When I stepped through St. Peter’s Holy Door in 2000, I never would have guessed that I would not only get to participate in Rome’s jubilee again, but that I would have a husband and three children in tow!

A jubilee is a time of forgiveness and spiritual renewal. The word jubilee means a time of celebration. We are celebrating God’s merciful love during a jubilee. Everyone is encouraged to participate, whether locally or through a pilgrimage to Rome and to receive the plenary indulgence. https://www.usccb.org/jubilee2025

When my husband first mentioned a possible trip to Italy for the Jubilee, I panicked. I’m a bit of an anxious person to put it lightly. All of the things that could possibly go wrong when bringing a family of five to Italy immediately filled my mind. I put our family on a strict “Don’t talk about the trip to Italy” notice in order to mentally avoid the inevitable. For the next several months, my husband quietly researched, planned, and bought tickets for our pilgrimage. I quietly brushed up on my Italian but stubbornly remained in denial.

In March, we landed in Venice and made our way through cities such as Siena, Assisi, and Florence, visiting many holy sites and preparing ourselves for the final stop in our pilgrimage – Rome. Italy, like America, has grown farther and farther away from God. It is hard to imagine the existence of a world where political – and even church– governance was heavily influenced by faith in the one, true God. This, however, is what the elaborate paintings in their government houses depict. God first, high above mankind, and all those below searching the Heavens and sometimes even pointing above in the realization that true governance comes from God.

That is what jubilees are about. An opportunity for us as individuals and, hopefully, as a society to renew our focus on God, His teachings, and His boundless love for all of us. Now, more than ever, the world needs this awakening. We need this hope.

Without this hope, however, I would never have even made it to Italy. Remember, I was so worried about all that could go wrong on the pilgrimage to Italy that I secretly preferred not to go at all. This was a grievous lack of trust in God on my part. Instead of turning to Him, instead of surrendering to Him, I almost missed out on a beautiful opportunity to allow my family a trip to the Holy City! I needed to surrender my heart to Him and ask Him to enter under my roof before I could enter under His.

This year’s jubilee calls us to be Pilgrims of Hope. Before I could even depart on this pilgrimage – I needed hope. As soon as this realization dawned, I was able to see this huge trip we would be undertaking as a just what it was meant to be – a pilgrimage. Pilgrimages are not easy. The first jubilee was decreed after the Israelites made it through 40 years of wilderness. Only after their desolate pilgrimage and only when they finally surrendered their stubbornness and made it to the Promised Land did the people enjoy their jubilee. “Proclaim liberty throughout all the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you.” (Leviticus 25:10)

Looking back, I find it poignant that the hardest challenges for my family came prior to us even leaving and these challenges seemed to be allayed only when I surrendered and trusted the Lord with abandon. All at once, the wilderness cleared and our path to the Holy City unfolded.

Any pilgrimage we take during this jubilee year, whether to Italy or within our hearts, must start very close to home. Though I’m home now, my pilgrimage of hope should not be over. I’m to be an example to those around me of God’s loving mercy, at home and at work. This pilgrimage of hope starts in our heart. What does it benefit us to walk through the Holy Door at St. Peter’s if our heart is not as beautifully decorated as the basilica’s walls? Will I carefully place jewels of patience, love, and mercy into the altar of my heart? Will I perfume the chamber with oils of humility and kindness? When the Holy Doors close and the jubilee ends, how much more radiant will my heart be?

No matter where we find ourselves this jubilee year, let’s start with the heart. I plan to take time during daily prayer to look within and check on the progress within the basilica of my heart. Hopefully, at the end of this jubilee, I will be able to hand our Lord a heart I’ve done something to improve. All hearts can be like an ugly, rough stone, but each heart is greater than a precious jewel in the eyes of the Lord. With careful refinement, our hearts can shine like the beacons of hope God meant them to be. Let us renew our hope in Him and take up the pilgrim’s staff. God speed on your journey!

Edited by Maggie Rosario

Return to the Lord with Thanksgiving

April 10, 2025/2 Comments/in Inspirational, Thanksgiving, The Mystery of Suffering/by Allison Gingras

Return to the Lord with Thanksgiving

Naaman’s New Song

After dipping seven times in the Jordan River, according to the prophet Elisha’s instructions, Naaman was cured of leprosy. Recognizing the miraculous movement of God in that moment, he returned to Elisha and proclaimed,

“Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Israel.”

Naaman experienced a profound conversion as the power of God transformed him from the outside—in. He knew he had received a supernatural healing from heaven. He vowed to offer worship to no other god than the one true God.

In Psalm 98, we read,

“Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done wondrous deeds.”

Church Father Origen of Alexandria (c. 185 – c. 253) interpreted the “new song” as a prophecy of the death and resurrection of Christ. Naaman’s cleansing from leprosy and his encounter with the one true God put a new song in his heart long before the Passion of our Lord. Two millennia later, we should continue to sing this new song.

The Thankful Leper

In Luke’s Gospel (17:11-19), Jesus cleanses ten lepers, yet only one returns in gratitude with thanksgiving. He, too, having been profoundly moved by the grace of God, cannot help but make a return to the Lord, throw himself at Jesus’ feet, and offer thanksgiving. Jesus’ response may have surprised him:

“Stand up and go; your faith has saved you.”

It’s easier to remain faithful when God answers our prayers and heals us or removes suffering. But what about when illness, pain, or dilemma remains? Can we stay faithful even then, steadfast in love and trust in the Lord?

Steadfast Even in Chains

In 2 Timothy 2:12-13, St. Paul addresses this while jailed and suffering for the Gospel.

“If we persevere, we shall also reign with him. But if we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.”

St. Paul offers a remarkable example of uniting our crosses with the Lord’s and presenting them as intercessory prayer for the conversion of souls:

“[bearing] with everything for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim 2:10).

Lessons in Suffering

I have suffered from Dyshidrotic Eczema for years. It is characterized by blistering and peeling of the skin on one’s hands and feet. During one of my most significant flares, I referred to myself as a leper. Once the disease rendered my hands useless, I found myself begging for the Lord to heal me. It took three years for those prayers to be answered. However, while I waited on the Lord, I learned many beautiful lessons. My condition presented numerous opportunities to embrace the virtues of patience, humility, and fortitude.

Once the disease left my hands, it attacked my feet, and it remains to this day. Thanks be to God, I can now accept this suffering, seeing the blessings instead of wallowing in self-pity and disappointment with how the Lord chooses to answer my prayers. I choose to focus on how my suffering can be united to intercessory prayer for others, just as St. Paul taught, especially for my loved ones who are away from the faith. I am grateful for His mercy, for allowing me to regain full use of my hands so I may live my vocation as wife, mother, Catholic writer, and social media evangelist to the fullest.

Now It’s Your Turn

How do we make a show of thanks to the Lord? Do we remain a few minutes after Mass, having just received the Eucharist—whose very meaning is thanksgiving—and offer a prayer to the Lord? When was the last time we went “glorifying God in a loud voice” and falling at the feet of Jesus to thank Him, even if only in our hearts and upon our knees? Does our behavior reflect, like Naaman’s, our faith in our good and mighty God, besides whom there is no other?

I can’t be the only one to experience these moments of seeking healing (and of the grace of prayers answered); I’d love to hear how you thank God for answered prayers or struggle with unanswered ones.

Edited by Theresa Linden

2025 by Margaret King Zacharias

Rocky Times

March 15, 2025/0 Comments/in Adventure, Blessed Mother, Community, discipleship, Holy Land, Inspirational, Marian Shrines, Pilgrimage, Uncategorized/by Margaret Zacharias

Rocky Times

Taxi drivers shook their fists at each other as I stared out the tour bus window. Blaring horns assaulted my ears. Sunset turned to twilight, and still we sat motionless in Tel Aviv traffic gridlock.
My heart was breaking for my fellow travelers. Although I’d been looking forward to visiting the Carmelite monastery’s public areas for a second time, I’d already been blessed with indelible memories of a daylight Mass in the gardens, followed by a tour that included rooftop views of the fertile valleys below. (See https://www.catholicwritersguild.org/2023/06/mount-carmel/). For the passengers with me on this trip, their visit here was meant to be the pinnacle of a once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage to the Holy Land. The bus driver’s scowl mirrored my own frustration, but only an air of resigned disappointment filled the bus.
By the time we had navigated a winding road to the top of Mount Carmel, full darkness had descended. The harried greeter who’d waited for us outside made humble apologies. Unfortunately, no tour would be possible. The brothers had already prayed Vespers, and the vowed community was cloistered for the night. But our host said he’d given the lay oblates permission to reopen the gift shop. This announcement immediately cheered the ladies. At least they could still bring rosaries to their loved ones back home. They trooped off together toward the few still-lighted windows, smiling.
Dominick, a public elementary school principal, quietly pulled his carryon suitcase from the bin above his seat and got off the bus behind them. I’d learned that in his traditional Italian neighborhood, parishioners had sacrificed for years to buy a small triangular lot adjacent to their
church. Dominick was building there, a shrine for Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I watched him engage our greeter in animated conversation.
The other pilgrims eventually returned, with full souvenir bags in hand. But where was Dominick? Finally, he appeared again at the bus door, grinning. A middle-aged but muscular man from a contractor family, Dominick did not seem daunted by the weight he now carried. He climbed right up the bus stairs, and raised his suitcase with both hands, in a victory stance, as soon as he reached the aisle.
“That brother was so kind. He took me all the way back to the mountain!” Dominick’s voice resonated through the bus without benefit of the microphone. “He said I could have as many rocks as I wanted! He found me a spade, and held the flashlight while I pried the stones
free.”
Whoops, whistles, and cheers from every seat greeted his enthusiastic news.

***

I found myself behind Dominick in the El Al security lines for our departure flight back to the United States. He patted his suitcase, and whispered with a wink. “Don’t worry. I’ve got them all right here.”
I heard the uniformed Israeli guards ask, as Dominick slowly wheeled his suitcase to the counter, “What’s in there? Rocks?”
Uh, oh, I thought, looking around. Is this even legal? Archeological artifacts, and all that? Where’s our guide! Dominick just nodded. “Gifts for Our Lady’s new grotto, from our Holy Land pilgrimage,” he said. Seeing the stern looks on their faces, he hastened to assure them.
“Everyone gave me permission. Those monks at Mount Carmel were really helpful.” Dominick pulled a paper from his vest pocket. Apparently, he’d somehow managed to wangle a document from the Carmelite brother who’d assisted with the excavation. Dominick handed his paper to one of the security men.
The first guard examined it and showed it to his partner. Then he refolded it carefully, and gave it back to Dominick. These officials, who now appeared a bit bemused, heaved Dominick’s suitcase up to the metal counter themselves. After looking inside, they exchanged a humorous glance, and waved our hero through, with his suitcase, to the gate. As I placed my own tote on the counter, I couldn’t help wondering how Dominick could have fit in all the stones I’d seen him collect, at the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and other sacred sites we’d visited.

But from the glimpse I’d just garnered, they did look– tightly packed.

***

Dominick engraved each stone from the Holy Land with its place of origin. He mortared them in where they fit, like puzzle pieces, among larger local boulders. Pilgrimage memories endure in a curved rock wall that shelters the consecrated granite altar in the new grotto dedicated to Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
Today, Mass can be celebrated at the grotto as well as the church, often in both English and Spanish. The parish maintains its long and faithful tradition of Corpus Christi processions with the Blessed Sacrament, visiting and blessing individual family homes throughout the old neighborhood. The parish school pioneered for our diocese the first cohort in an optional Spanish immersion curriculum for grades K-8.
Dominick’s spirit of humility, simplicity, and faith lives on.

May we all be blessed this Lent with trust and grace to find joy in whatever God sends.

Feature photo by Margaret King Zacharias. Used with Permission.

Sign that says: Fear Not I am the one that helps you

Vital Sign

March 5, 2025/0 Comments/in Devotionals, Hope, Inspirational/by Lisa Livezey

Vital Sign

The LORD will give you a sign. – Isaiah 38:7 (GNT)

It was a September Sunday morning at 2 a.m. when I descended the hospital elevator and stepped out through sliding glass doors. Walking to the nearby corner, I bought coffee at the 24-hour convenience store. The warm cup soothed my palm as I continued around the block, taking comforting sips of the hot liquid. It seemed surreal that only a week ago Dad had been living his full, active life.

A woman stood on the opposite sidewalk tossing pebbles up against a second story window, trying to awaken the sleeper inside.There was a sleeper inside of me resisting all this change. What was I going to do with Mom and how could I manage everything on top of my own full life? I told Dad years ago that if he went first, I’d keep Mom at home where she was comfortable. But was that truly possible?

I rounded the corner and started up Main Street, lined with silent boutiques and artisan coffee shops. Suddenly ahead of me appeared a sign, brightly lit. In bold black letters were the words, FEAR NOT, I AM THE ONE WHO HELPS YOU. Was I dreaming, seeing this sign in the middle of the night? No doubt it was a message from God that He saw me and would help in the coming days. I took a picture, found courage in the moment, and headed back towards the hospital.

Thank you, Lord, for giving us signs–especially in times of desperate need.

Reflect: What signs of encouragement has the Lord given you along your caregiving road? Keep a watch this week for evidence of his loving care.

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

Pierre Toussaint: NYC’s OG Black Hairdresser and Future Saint

February 17, 2025/2 Comments/in Faith, Inspirational, Saints/by Janet Tamez

Pierre Toussaint: NYC’s OG Black Hairdresser and Future Saint

By Janet Tamez

Before he was declared venerable by St. John Paul II, Pierre Toussaint was an OG New Yorker, a master hairstylist to the rich and a quiet godfather to the poor. He arrived in New York City in 1796, when George Washington had just stepped down from the presidency, the United States was a young blood, and NYC was the place to be.

Born into slavery in Haiti, Pierre came to America with his owners, who fled the Haitian Revolution. Hoping to maintain their way of life, Pierre’s owner brought him and the other slaves to America. Far from being abolitionists, they were progressive in one key way: they allowed Pierre to be trained as a hairdresser and keep his earnings. This came in clutch as NYC was filled with rich aristocrats like the Schuyler sisters who needed their hair did for social events. Pierre soon built a reputation as one of the city’s most sought-after stylists.

Then came an unexpected twist of fate. His owner, Jean Jacques Bérard, died, leaving behind a widowed wife who struggled to support herself. Rather than turn his back on her, Pierre used his earnings to financially sustain her until her death. In gratitude, she granted him freedom on her deathbed. He was over 40 years old at the time.

Pierre wasted no time securing the freedom of those he loved. He purchased his fiancée Juliette’s freedom, as well as his sister’s. He and Juliette settled in a modest home on Reade Street, where they opened their doors to orphaned children, feeding them and teaching them valuable trade skills. They also raised his niece, Euphemia, as their own after his sister’s passing.

Pierre wasn’t just a talented hairstylist, he was a hustler in the best sense. He invested in real estate and banks, building wealth not for himself but for the people around him. What makes him a saint is not how he started from the bottom but how generous he was with his wealth. He donated heavily to charities across New York, including Elizabeth Seton’s orphanage (which, at the time, only served white children). Most notably, he was one of the first benefactors of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral, where he is buried today, the only layperson granted that honor.

Rumor has it that when a friend pointed out that he could retire early, Pierre replied, “Pierre loves the kids.” Okay, just kidding. What he actually said was, “Madam, I have enough for myself, but if I stop work, I have not enough for others.” And he lived by that philosophy.

Even when the Great Fire of 1835 destroyed his real estate investments, costing him what would be equivalent to $900,000 today, he continued to fund orphanages and charities, laying the foundation for what is now Catholic Charities in New York. He also started the first Black Catholic school in the city.

To the Haitian immigrants who arrived in New York, Pierre was a lifeline, offering them jobs, financial assistance, and guidance. When yellow fever devastated the city, he was one of the few who entered quarantined neighborhoods to care for the sick. Pierre was able to mingle with both the elites of NYC and the poor of New York, earning the love and respect of both.

When he died in 1853, the entire neighborhood turned out to honor him, the rich, the poor, Black and White, all recognizing the life of a man who gave everything to his community.

This Black History Month, we remember Venerable Pierre Toussaint—not just as a philanthropist or entrepreneur, but as a man of the people. Respected in the streets, honored in the church, and hopefully, one day, celebrated as a saint by the global Church.

Edited by Angela Lano

Memento Mori

February 15, 2025/0 Comments/in Death, Faith, Inspirational, Marriage, Marriage, Spiritual Life/by Margaret Zacharias

Teach us to count our days aright,
that we may gain wisdom of heart.
(Psalm 90:12). (1)

Memento Mori

When I was growing up, “Remember your death” was an almost universal expression of Christian practice during Lent.

Parents taught their children that we are “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” My own mother, and a variety of other mature women I knew then, quipped their excuses for not mopping under beds with the old joke, “My friends might be down there, visiting me today.”

It’s human nature to fantasize that we are the exceptions, that we will never wrinkle and decline, that we ourselves will never die. The elders then were offering us as children an essential grounding in reality.

Last September, I lost my beloved husband of almost 50 years

Although I recognized our advancing age, decreasing energy, and the burgeoning of necessary medical checkups, I shied away from his earnest attempts to provide me with important survival information.

My response was bright-eyed and cheery. “But we’re not going to die,” I kept telling him. “At least, not yet.”

I know he showed me where he was hiding the outdoor emergency house key … Five months later, the kids and I still haven’t been able to find it. Fortunately, we had other keys.

A massive heart attack, caused by blockage in the LAD, left artery descending, took Charles away from us far too soon. This silent and deadly killer is nicknamed “the widow maker” by medical professionals, for good reason.

I’m deeply thankful for the memory that last April, he raced me across the parking lot at St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Tucson, right after we had received Eucharist together on Easter Sunday. I’ll never forget his grin when he beat me to the car.

Despite my evasion, a spiritual call to prayer for the dying does run in my maternal family line. I experienced it even in my Methodist childhood, with elderly family members “checking in” as their time of passing neared.

Once I was confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church in 1989, insistent calls to pray for fellow parishioners, and even total strangers, drew me to the Adoration Chapel more and more often.

After a while, I began to notice that every time I felt a particular call to prayer, the same people were already there, or coming through the door right behind me; each of us always with a rosary in our hands.

At a Catholic Life in the Spirit conference held at Notre Dame University in 1998, I heard a speaker on the topic of charismatic gifts say, “Here’s a terrible one – knowing when people are going to die.”

I disagree. It’s a beautiful gift in the Body of Christ, a blessing that Our Lord pours through us, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

These calls to prayer mean that someone who loves us knows when we’re coming home; someone is lighting a candle in the window to guide us and welcome us; someone is calling companions together to support us. The transportation provided for that journey is prayer.

Every time any member of the Church prays a rosary, aren’t we asking the Blessed Mother for this very assistance at the time of our own deaths?

Catholics who respond to a felt call, to pray a rosary for others, are serving Mother Mary as her hands here on earth.

Has this understanding spared me any of the dreadful earthly experiences that follow the sudden death of a spouse — the incapacitating waves of grief, the hollow feeling of emptiness, the seemingly endless sleepless nights – the lawyers, bankers, and brokers, with their complicated rules and reams of paperwork – the daunting responsibilities to console grieving children and grandchildren, and to navigate the family through a disorienting new universe?

No. I have not been spared any of these.

But I’m grateful that, by mystical grace, I was granted the privilege to be with my husband, in prayer, at the time of his death; with God’s love swirling around us and through us both. That, for me, is everything.

T.S. Eliott wrote, in the concluding lines of his profoundly religious poem Ash Wednesday:

“When the voices shaken from the yew-tree drift away,
Let the other yew be shaken and reply.
… Teach us to sit still
Even among these rocks,
Our peace in His will
And even among these rocks
Sister, mother
… Spirit of the river, spirit of the sea,
Suffer me not to be separated
And let my cry come unto Thee.” (2)

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now, and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Notes:
1. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/psalms/90
2. https://englishverse.com/poems/ash_wednesday © 2003-2025 English Verse

Feature photo used by permission of the author.

Parent tossing child in the air on a beach at sunset.

God’s Got Our Back

February 9, 2025/0 Comments/in Faith, Inspirational, Spiritual Life, Uncategorized/by Paula Veloso Babadi

God’s Got Our Back

I went to Confession hungry—hungry for something I couldn’t articulate at the time, but God knew and satisfied that unnamed gnawing through one of His kind priests. Monsignor Ignacio gave me the penance of learning Psalm 139. He told me how much God loved me and that, if I prayed this psalm, I would know absolutely just how deeply God knows, accepts, and loves me. I think I cried all the way home, realizing that, despite my faults, imperfections, and self-doubts, someone—God—could love me so completely.

I went on to memorize excerpts from that psalm and prayed it every morning for a while. I shared copies with friends and family. I even wrote it down on scratch paper during a plane ride to visit my daughter and gave it to a misty-eyed young man sitting next to me. He cried.

Eventually, I stopped the daily morning recitation and drifted into a rhythm of aimless newly retired life. But I was hungry again. I was preparing to offer a workshop at our local Catholic Writers Guild meeting. “Writing with Intent” aimed at sharing tips and tools to kick-start or rejuvenate the writing life. At that time, chapter members ranged from new writers to seasoned authors. What could I possibly offer that would appeal to and encompass such a range of needs? I began to worry and stress over the presentation.

That’s when Psalm 139 surfaced again. When we are hungry, God’s words speak to our hearts. Whether new to the pen and unsure of intent or seasoned with countless pages and seeking fresh perspectives, as Catholic writers, we need to know, without a doubt, that God loves us and has got our back. It is He Who guides our writing and satiates our hunger when we ask.

“Probe me, God, know my heart;

try me, know my concern.

See if my way is crooked,

then lead me in the ancient paths.”—Psalm 139: 23–24

The reading and meditation on excerpts from Psalm 139 set the introductory tone for the workshop, which was well received by all. God was right there for me and them. Then and now.

Excerpts from Psalm 139

Lord, You have probed me, You know me:

You know when I sit and stand;

You understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest You mark;

with all my ways You are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, You know it all.

Behind and before, You encircle me

and rest Your hand upon me.

. . .

If I fly with the wings of dawn

and alight beyond the sea,

even there Your hand will guide me,

Your right hand hold me fast.

. . .

You formed my inmost being;

You knit me in my mother’s womb.

I praise You, so wonderfully You made me;

wonderful are Your works!

. . .

How precious to me are Your designs, O God;

how vast the sum of them!

Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands;

to finish, I would need eternity.

. . .

Probe me, God, know my heart;

try me, know my concern.

See if my way is crooked,

then lead me in the ancient paths.

—Psalm 139: 1–5, 9–10, 13–14, 17–18, 23–24

St. Joseph Edition of The New American Bible

Edited by Gabriella Batel

When not playing pickleball or “Nana,” Paula Veloso Babadi cooks, gardens, and writes poetry and short personal essays. You can find her first book-length collection, Everywhere Hope, at amazon.com.

black and white photo of soldiers cautiously walking with guns through a field Image by Rozbooy from Pixabay

A Christmas Wish

January 28, 2025/0 Comments/in Fiction, Inspirational, Uncategorized/by Cecile Bianco

A Christmas Wish

I am writing to tell you about a story about an old veteran that I knew. He was a Vietnam veteran. I was assigned to the VA to be a counselor to these old warriors. There was one in particular that I remember that had it really hard. He had gone to jail under strange circumstances, and had some psychotic breaks, so I took an interest in him. This was about Christmastime.

I interviewed him one day about his life. He was born in Portland, OR. He had an uneventful childhood but his parents were middle class. He enlisted and was sent to Vietnam. He believed in the cause and wanted to prove himself.

When he went to combat it was nothing he expected.

“All the bombs, all the bullets, the Agent Orange, and the other chemical warfare,” he recalled.

“Are those memories troubling you?”

“No. That’s not all of it,” he said. “I ran. I was a coward.”

“So then,” I said, “how is it that you got convicted of aggravated assault?”

He said, “Well, when I got back home, I got a job as a mailman, but I drank heavily to cope. Maybe 5-6 drinks at night. One night I had the worst dream I was running away from the Viet Cong. And I heard my commander say, ‘Attack!’ and I didn’t want to fail again. So I went to my bar with my gun and I was going to shoot the Viet Cong. Well, it ended up I shot up the bar and injured some people.”

“Did you mean to kill anyone,” I asked.

He said, “I don’t remember because I blacked out. But I am a good shot, so if I meant to kill anyone, I would have done it. After that, I got sent to Oklahoma for jail for 6 years. It was the worst time of my life. I was there with people who meant to do harm and I was worried I might turn out like them.”

I said, “Well, it’s Christmastime, so I imagine if you had a Christmas wish, it would be you didn’t run from the Viet Cong.”

He said, “No, I wish I could meet my granddaughter. I had a brief relationship in Oregon, and in jail I found out she got pregnant with a girl and then recently she told me her daughter had a daughter. So that’s my Christmas wish to meet her.”

I asked permission to try to contact his daughter and he said yes. I was able to find her and asked if she would like to contact him and she did. After a few months I arranged a meeting but I found out our veteran was in the hospital with liver disease, so I thought about a short meeting and showing the child some military pictures and got one of Vietnam. The woman and her daughter came to the hospital.

“What’s your name,” he asked the little girl.

“Melanie,” she told him.

“What grade are you in?”

“Fifth.” They talked about his life and her time in school and friends for a while. Then it was time to go.

Later, I got an email from the mother saying the child wanted to know what her grandfather did in the war. I emailed back the picture I had found. She asked if it was her grandad in the picture.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure it was him.”

Edited by Mary McWilliams

Image by Rozbooy from Pixabay

Spiritual Clutter…Is There Such A Thing?

January 17, 2025/0 Comments/in Faith, Home & Lifestyle, Ignatian Spirituality, Inspirational, non-fiction, Prayer/by Kimberly Novak

There are many instances when I feel obligated to clean outside my normal daily housework. Some of the most popular reasons people do a deep clean are to welcome spring, prepare for a guest, entertain during the holidays, and declutter.

At least twice a year, I feel the urge to purge. Sometimes, I focus on one home area, such as a closet or cabinet, while other times, I focus on an entire room. Emotions such as stress, anxiety, and sadness also trigger a massive cleaning response in me. These emotions often set me into a cleaning mode.

Usually, a deep clean involves deciding whether to keep various unnecessary items, loading up the car, and delivering to a local donation center. I breathe a sigh of relief, and when I finish, I can sit back and enjoy the freshness of my home.

I recently set my sights on cleaning my home office, which doubles as my prayer space. I worked from one end of the small room to the other, quickly realizing I had a lot of clutter. Sitting down in my rocker to pray and setting my coffee cup on the table beside me was a chore, as I had to move many items just to set the cup down.

As a spiritual director, I have quite a collection of spiritual books, journals, prayer cards, etc., all of which hold special meanings. Some were gifts; others contained wisdom and reflections necessary to me and those I accompany on their spiritual journey. It is much easier for me to donate an old sweater than to let go of items related to my faith.

“It is much easier for me to donate an old sweater than to let go of items related to my faith.”

I organized my items so that I didn’t need to donate them. When the Holy Spirit calls me to pass an item along to someone else, I set aside a pile for “gifting.” As I admired the newly decluttered room, I wondered if we could have so much physical clutter in our lives that it is possible to have spiritual clutter.

I considered what I gather when I sit down for prayer time: a Bible, journal, devotional, sometimes a candle and rosary, coffee or tea, a prayer card or two, a pen, and a highlighter. Oh, let’s not forget the holding cross or personal memento that brings me into focus. Then, I often use a prayer app or reflective music.

After thinking about the many things I have considered as prayer time must-haves, I asked myself, did Jesus need all this when he prayed? Am I bringing spiritual clutter into my sacred space and personal time with God, and are these things impeding my connection to Him?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying these prayer items are bad or unnecessary, but perhaps they have their time and place. If we look at that list again, it almost reads like someone conducting a Bible study class, not someone about to enter a sacred space with the Lord.

So, how can we incorporate spiritual accessories in a way that does not interfere with our moments of prayer? The process will look different for everyone, as our styles are different. If you aim to use many or all of the items mentioned and it works for you, go for it. However, if you feel a prayerful connection is lacking, consider how to enter prayer and what external items you are taking along.

When we enter prayer, already feeling cluttered, we bring these emotions with us, which can detract from completely opening our hearts to God. As we settle into this new year, take some time to evaluate your prayer space and routine. Take note of anything that brings you unease, feeling closed in, or frustration.

You may be surprised to learn that to reach a deep prayerful connection, all God wants from you is you! The accessories can be used to journal your emotions after your prayer time or for additional prayers aside from your meditations with scripture. Be honest and only use what makes you feel connected to God. Make your prayer time with God count, have fun, and enjoy your moments of God’s Grace.

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Kimberly Novak is a wife, mother, author, and spiritual director. Her passion for inspiring and motivating those on a spiritual journey has bloomed into various ministries. Kimberly’s mission is to enhance each journey by guiding others where the light of strength is…God’s love. Find out more about Kimberly’s life and work at www.kimberlynovak.com. Additionally, Kimberly welcomes prayer requests at A Little God Time.

Edited by Janet Tamez