Step Out Like a Caterpillar and Fly

September 16, 2022/1 Comment/in Catholic Writing and Publishing, Conversion Stories, Defending the Faith, Faith, Hope/by Kimberly Novak

Step Out Like a Caterpillar and Fly

Does the caterpillar know transformation is imminent? I imagine it has no idea that change is about to take place, and soon it will be something more beautiful than it was.

I have spent many years focused on the beauty of the butterfly, though some would call it an obsession rather than mere interest. I first fell in love with the butterfly during a life trial when I learned the spiritual significance of re-birth, new life, and transformation. I strived every day to be the butterfly.

Over several years, my faith and time with God blossomed, and He blessed me with new friends and relationships. I committed to living as a butterfly by reinventing aspects of my life and living in the ways I felt God calling me. Little did I know that God was preparing me for something bigger, something unexpected, and something I’ll never forget.

Many times on my journey of becoming the butterfly I thought I had reached transformation, only to be struck down by life again. I never anticipated life as a butterfly as perfect. I had visited butterfly houses on many occasions and witnessed broken wings, or simply those that had reached life expectancy.

What needed to transform was how I handled life’s struggles. I’m not an expert, but I imagine the caterpillar does not need to prepare for transformation. Likewise, many times we do not see or anticipate the upcoming circumstances that will be life-changing. When a storm comes, we are thrown in without knowing when we will come out of it. This is similar to how the caterpillar observes its situation inside the chrysalis.

One day in a moment of prayer, God revealed that my focus needed to shift from wanting to be the butterfly to living as the caterpillar. Soon I knew the change would entail embracing every struggle knowing that in the end, God would bless me with something better and more beautiful. I began imagining how a caterpillar might react to God’s instruction and focused my efforts on becoming a new and improved version of my old self.

Becoming Bella was my new way of life; in Italian, Bella means beautiful. I did all I could to bring God with me into every struggle; thus, it would become beautiful. I learned to treat each battle or bump in the road of life as a gift. One where God would reveal the lesson or blessing, allowing the caterpillar within to emerge and fly as the butterfly God prepared it to be.

I learned so much through this way of thinking, and every new day God blesses me with more insight into life as a caterpillar. This way of living and thinking takes courage, and I can’t think of anything more wonderful than a courageous caterpillar!

Sitting in a room full of butterflies, I can see where the caterpillar lives. I wonder whether the caterpillar knew it was going to become a butterfly. I meditate on that and consider the first thought once emerging from the chrysalis, “is this the end or the beginning of something new?”

The Passion of Christ

September 3, 2022/2 Comments/in Current events, Devotionals, Eucharist, Faith, History, Hope/by Margaret Zacharias

The Passion of Christ

These days the media seems to besiege us with headlines about the next terrible plague. Whether it’s the latest Covid variant or a new, horrible pox, it’s challenging not to become anxious. We shudder, and continue to pray that we and our families will be spared.

Imagine living in the seventeenth century Alps. Already ravaged by the Thirty Years’ War, Bavarian villagers learn that the Black Plague has come to town, in the person of a foreign peddler. They know that this frightening new disease has killed entire populations throughout the region. What will they do?

In 1633, the citizens of the Catholic village of Oberammergau, Germany, made a communal promise to God. If he saw fit to spare their town, if no one in the village died of the plague over the next twelve months, they would perform a play about the passion of Christ every tenth year, in perpetuity.

The first Oberammergau Passion Play to fulfill that offering was staged in 1634. Their promise has been faithfully kept for almost 400 years. (For more information, visit www.passionsspiele-oberammergau.de/en/home.)

Both the script and the methods of performance have evolved over the centuries. But even today, the play is still performed in its historical style of tableau. It is presented in two parts, each two-and-a-half hours long, with a break for dinner in between.

Every actor must have been born in the village, and nearly every native citizen is included somewhere in the ensemble of players.

In 2019, I watched a video of the casting ceremony for the 2020, now 2022, performances.

With an altar server carrying the crucifix before him, the parish pastor processed out of his church into the village square. The entire platz was filled with townspeople. Gathered to hear him announce the names of the persons chosen to portray the most illustrious characters, they maintained absolute silence.

The priest stopped next to the village school teacher; a young woman attired in an impeccably-pressed shirtwaist dress. She was poised at a large blackboard, already prepared with the names of the major characters, to write the names. An alternate was also chosen for each role, in order to sustain the lengthy performance season, five days a week from May to October.

As the teacher carefully inscribed each name in exquisite handwriting, no cheers or congratulations marred the solemnity of the occasion. Only a few murmurs of satisfaction, or mild disappointment, could be heard on the film.

I’m still hoping and praying to attend the 2022 Passion Play this September.

In 2018, when my travel companion and I first began to consider our mutual bucket list trip, we were both in perfect health. Then the originally scheduled 2020 event was postponed to 2022 because of the world-wide Covid-19 pandemic.

Recently, just as our long-awaited dreams seemed about to become reality, my travel companion sustained injuries in a bicycle accident. The same week in July, I sprained an ankle.

As I walked down the hall of my apartment building a couple of nights ago, I ran into a friend who is over ninety years old. She was working out a pain in her hip at the same time I was exercising my sprained ankle.

She said, “I’ll give you my Oberammergau jacket.”

I looked at her tiny frame, then at my own considerably more substantial one, and said, “Thank you so much. But I don’t think it will fit me.”

She told me that she had attended the Oberammergau Passion Play in her younger years. After we conversed with awe about the endurance of this Bavarian tradition, she shared a parting thought about her own pilgrimage.

“I always think of that time as a special privilege.”

Both of my friends regularly take advantage of the opportunities offered to us all as Catholics, to attend mass and to be active serving neighbors in urban villages that can operate like small towns.

As I reflected on her words, I heard a message from the Holy Spirit.

At every mass, in every liturgical season, we have motivation to gather as a living community, just as the townspeople do in alpine villages like Oberammergau. We have daily chances to meditate on the passion of Christ at every mass.

It’s because the people of Oberammergau do these things that they have been able to keep a four-century-old promise, generation after generation.

It really doesn’t matter if health challenges, personal finances, family responsibilities, or the world situation allow us to travel to Jerusalem or Oberammergau – or not.

Christ’s loving offering of his passion for our salvation is eternal.

He comes to us every day, on every altar, wherever and whenever the eucharist is celebrated.

How blessed we are, indeed, by that special privilege.

A Committed Heart

July 17, 2022/0 Comments/in Faith, Hope, Prayer, Spiritual Life/by Kimberly Novak

Kimberly Novak reflects on the commitment of Jesus made perfect without sin.

A committed heart finds a way, whereas an un-committed heart makes excuses. This month we celebrate the Precious Blood of Jesus, an unblemished promise poured out to forgive sins. My relationship with God tells me that this is a commitment unlike anyone could ever imagine or pledge. A gift that is guaranteed to those who commit their heart to God through the treasured love of Jesus.

As we arise each day, God sends blessings and graces through thoughts, circumstances, and longings, often leading to a choice or commitment. It is easy to begin daily with the mindset to accomplish great things. Undoubtedly, this is short-lived when the day’s events cut down a motivated heart.

In my mind, a hopeful heart is a committed heart. One that looks at the bright side of every circumstance, no matter what. I like to consider that was the mindset of my Lord as He made the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus, perfect without sin, made a sacrificial commitment, all for the Glory of God.

Committing involves dedicating or obligating yourself to something or someone. It is a promise made to yourself, another, or our Heavenly Father. Recently, I’ve found myself in a group fitness challenge. I committed to 13 other individuals to do my best and accomplish the exercise goal each day. This encouragement is often successful, as the benefit outweighs letting someone down.

There are many instances in life where we can apply this type of motivation, from diet, exercise, job focus, family, and our time spent with God. These examples are necessary for maintaining a positive balance in our lives. Also, all of which require a committed heart. Jesus’ commitment to us was a great love, given freely and without hesitation. How then might we strive to commit ourselves to the things God is calling us toward in this life?

We must consider commitment in the following ways. Firstly, where does daily duty lie, and is God a part of that? The point is moot without God as the central purpose of what we allow ourselves to do daily. When our responsibilities become overwhelming, following this rule of finding God in them will help simplify and remove an obligation not meant for us.

Secondly, where does daily un-commitment showup, and how can God help control those excuses? There are countless circumstances when it becomes easy to slack off, skip a day, or make a promise to do something later. When it is hard to follow through, perhaps, reflecting on what excuses might look like to God will prove helpful.

Soon, thoughts and reasons transform into nurturing a committed heart through consistent prayer and an ongoing relationship with God. Through the Holy Spirit, beauty takes hold as God reveals where to focus responsibility. Before we know it, decisions are in partnership with God, commitments are God-Centered, and every day is lived all in God’s Glory. How wonderful that must look to our God in heaven!

Even Scraps, Received in Faith, Bring Healing

July 14, 2022/0 Comments/in Catholic Writing and Publishing, Faith, Hope, Love, Mercy, Prayer, Spiritual Life, The Mystery of Suffering/by Allison Gingras

The woman was a Greek, a Syrophoenician by birth, and she begged him to drive the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, “Let the children be fed first. For it is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She replied and said to him, “Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.” Then he said to her, “For saying this, you may go. The demon has gone out of your daughter.” When the woman went home, she found the child lying in bed and the demon gone. ~ Mark 7:26-30

How many demons do we need Jesus to drive out? Do you struggle with insecurity, anxiety, uncertainty, maybe addiction, a difficult relationship, or financial crisis? How remarkable that even the smallest grace from Jesus, the scraps, has the power to transform our life. Imagine the possible freedom awaiting us if we embraced even a tiny bit of the blessings Jesus has to offer us. The gifts available from heaven are abundant, meaning we do not need to settle for the crumbs, yet if that were all we allowed ourselves to dine upon we’d still be filled.

Our lives would not be perfect or free from those things that worry, concern, or pain us, but there would be a sense of inner peace and hope that can only come from heaven. The woman came to Jesus prepared to be persistent, humble, and assured. Persistent in her begging; humble enough to address Him as Lord and take whatever scraps He offered; and surely she believed what He said was done because she left for home at His command. When was the last time I approached Jesus in that way—begging for some assistance, humbled by His majesty and glory, and yet completely sure that I would, in some way, receive a blessing? Confident in Jesus’ answer to my prayer, regardless of what I sought, accepting the scraps falling from the heavenly banquet?

So, what holds us back from being fed by Jesus? Feeling, perhaps, unworthy of even the crumbs from His table? How can the Syrophoenician woman’s example encourage us to approach Jesus for assistance in whatever demons we are trying to eradicate from our lives?

Jesus, I believe that you have so much more to offer me than I am ever able to accept. Lord, I thank you for calling me to your banquet, and whether I put myself at the table for the feast or at your feet for the crumbs, help me to be always assured I will never be without your blessing and grace.

Does God send us “signs,” to let us know He has heard our prayers? You Decide.

February 4, 2020/0 Comments/in Catholic Writing and Publishing, Faith, Hope, Inspirational/by Larry Peterson

By Larry Peterson

Looking into her eyes, he said, “There is victory over death.”

I recently attended a funeral Mass, and during the few minutes before the Mass started, something extraordinary happened. I believe God sent a messenger to share with all those in attendance an affirmation of what we proclaim to believe; that there is life after death. It all happened within a few moments, and it was entirely unexpected. How many people actually paid attention, I do not know.

The messenger’s name was Ann Marie. (interesting that Our Lady’s name is Mary and her mother’s name was Anne). The usual protocol at a Catholic funeral Mass is that after the Mass ends, family and friends can get up and say a few words about the departed. At this Mass, Ann Marie went up to the ambo immediately before the Mass began. The funeral was for her dad, and she wanted to say a few words about him before the Mass started.

For those of us who have lost loved ones, incidents happen after their passing that some take as a “sign.” For example; a photo of the loved one suddenly falls from a shelf, landing in front of us; a sudden smell of her perfume or his after-shave fills the room; there is a knock on the door and you find no one there. These incidents can sometimes give a person a message which they believe tells them all is well, and not to worry. The flip side is it can cause others to feel their loss even more while others may not pay any attention to them. Most times, “signs” are just coincidences.

But the most prominent ‘signs” seem to come from dreams. The Bible has many stories of people receiving messages through dreams. St. Joseph was visited three different times by the angel in his dreams. We know that it was a dream that saved the baby Messiah’s life. So, I believe, as do others, that we do receive “signs,” especially if we are experiencing significant personal loss. Often, these signs come to us in dreams. Maybe it is God’s way of helping us through our grief.

Ann Marie looked out over the now-seated congregation and began to speak. Her demeanor was steady yet sad, and her voice was soft yet clear. She wanted to tell us about her dad. She just spoke from her heart about a guy named Jerome Schreiber, who was called “Jerry” by everyone; everyone except Ann Marie, who called him “Dad.”

Jerry was born in 1926 in South Ozone Park, Queens in NYC. He worked for the Brooklyn Union Gas company and was a mechanic for them until he retired. Jerry was a devout Catholic, a member of the Knights of Columbus, and was the type of man that helped make America the greatest country in the world. He was all about God, family, and country.

First, Ann Marie spoke of her dad’s kindness, gentleness, humility, compassion, and love for all people. Then she paused and told everyone about the dream.

Two days after Jerry passed, Ann Marie had a dream. It was clear and vivid with perfect sound. She was in bed and her dad was standing at the front door of their house, looking in from the outside. The light outside was brilliant and he was standing in it, smiling at Ann Marie. Looking into her eyes, through his smile, he said, “There is victory over death.”

On this day, in Sacred Heart Catholic Church, Pinellas Park, Florida, Jerry Schreiber, a Catholic man who lived a life filled with the love of God, family, and neighbor, and had journeyed to his heavenly reward two days before, sent us all a message. It was a message we can love and embrace, a message that can reinforce and fortify our sometimes doubtful faith.

His daughter, Ann Marie, was gifted by a visit from her deceased dad who gave her the message. God’s grace told her to share it with us all. She did that and we, in turn, should share it with others. So let us never forget Jerry’s message; “There is victory over death.”

For those who believe no explanation is necessary; for those who do not, none is possible. -St. Thomas Aquinas

Loneliness and Thanksgiving: Thoughts from a Catholic man

December 2, 2019/0 Comments/in Catholic Writing and Publishing, Holidays, Hope, Spiritual Life/by Larry Peterson

God is the answer, because without Him there is no hope

By Larry Peterson

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. (St. Teresa of Calcutta)

This will be the third Thanksgiving since my wife passed away, and when you become widowed, there is an inescapable loneliness factor that enters your life. But I have learned that loneliness has no boundaries. It reaches out for everyone and captures many of the unsuspecting, including those who are seemingly happy, contented, and successful, dragging them into a world of hidden misery and often depression.

However, many who have experienced loss manage to bounce back and find contentment, peace, and even love again. Others cannot — why is that? The common denominator seems to be that those people who have God in their lives were never alone at all. Those who do not, remain alone. The first consequence of rejecting God is the loss of hope. They have allowed hope to be erased from their spirit.

The results of losing hope are devastating. In fact, the loneliness factor in the United States has reached epidemic proportions. Here are a few statistics that show how losing hope has affected our nation. Loss of hope leads to despair, and the ones affected most by this loss are in Generation Z: those who are in the 18 to 22-year-old range. I have grandchildren older than that. The entire concept of these young people, fresh from adolescence and beginning adulthood, having lost hope is so sad. How can this be?

Cigna referenced a “Loneliness Index” which shows that loneliness has become rampant in the United States. This worldwide health services company used the UCLA Loneliness Scale (yes, they have a loneliness scale), which is a 20-item questionnaire designed to determine a person’s social isolation and their subjective feelings. This evaluator is used frequently to track and measure loneliness. Some of the results were astonishing. This is from their report of May 1, 2018:

47 percent of Americans sometimes or always feel alone
27 percent of Americans feel no one understands them
40 percent feel that their relationships have no meaning and feel isolated
20 percent feel they feel close to no one and have no one to talk to
Amazingly, Generation Z (people 18 to 22) are the loneliest generation. How heartbreaking is that?
Social media users have a 43.5 percent loneliness factor, which was comparable to the 41.7 percent for those who do not use social media.

Isn’t it interesting that nowhere is the name of God mentioned in these findings? And nowhere is the importance of the traditional family considered. The numbers are mind-boggling. We are a nation of almost 330 million people. If 47% say they feel “alone” that is nearly half the country. We only have to go back 25 years to the early “90s to see the rapid decline in the absence of hope.

Since then, there has been a 58% decline in club meetings, a 43% drop in family dinners, and children have their playtime regulated, depriving them of natural social development. People use their phones to message each other, apply for jobs, get interviewed, quit jobs, break up with their boyfriends or girlfriends, file divorce papers, and do all sorts of interactions without having to go face to face with a person, never saying one word.

Getting back to God and family would be akin to putting the linchpin back into the hub of life. Then, people, kids included, might be taught that they can turn to Jesus and never be alone. They might be taught to think of His words:

And behold, I am with you always, until the end of this age. (Matthew 28:20)

We must count our blessings on Thanksgiving, especially knowing that more than half of all Americans still believe in and honor God in their lives and that we have the freedom to do it. This Thanksgiving, millions upon millions of us will pray together, thanking God for all we have. We should also pray for all those who do not have hope in their lives. We know it can always be reignited and prayer can be the kindling used to fire up the hope lying dormant in so many.

God is just waiting to be asked to light the match.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s Perfect – Not!

June 7, 2017/0 Comments/in Catholic Writing and Publishing, Faith, Family Life, Hope, Inspirational, Mercy, non-fiction, Spiritual Life/by Karina Fabian

By Janice Lane Palko

It was Father’s Day weekend thirty-one years ago. Married only a couple of years, my husband and I had moved into our first house that previous January. We’d spent that spring painting, wallpapering—the things you do to get a home into shape. On Saturday of that weekend, I’d cleaned the whole house while my husband had spent the day outside trimming hedges, weeding, and cutting grass in anticipation of a Father’s Day picnic for both sides of our family—the first event in our first home.

As we called it a day, I remember looking at our neatly manicured lawn and gleaming house and thinking, “Everything is perfect.”

Then the phone rang at 7:04 a.m. Who calls that early on a Sunday morning? I thought as my husband rolled over and answered it. When I saw the color drain from his face, I knew something was terribly wrong. He hung up and stared blankly at me, too stunned to show any emotion. “That was my mom. Tommy’s been killed in a motorcycle accident.” Tommy was his twenty-three-year-old little brother.

We’d anticipated a Father’s Day picnic filled with fun and laughter. Instead, we were now faced with death, identifying a body at the morgue, and making funeral arrangements.

So much for perfection.

Flash forward to June seven years later. I’m sitting in a counselor’s office after suffering for months with panic attacks. “From what I’ve observed,” the kind therapist said, “You are very hard on yourself. You need to allow yourself to be human. You think you have to be perfect.”

As you can see, my dance with perfection has been filled with missteps. From Tommy’s death, I learned that life is not perfect and never will be, and through my joust with anxiety, I learned that I am not perfect and never will be.

So, how does someone who’s had these types of reality checks with perfection square them with Jesus’s words in Matthew’s Gospel where He instructs us to “Be perfect just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

To a perfectionist, His words area a recipe for disaster. You may have heard the adage “Perfection is the enemy of the good.” Well, when we perfectionists get rolling, we tend to discount anything, however good, that does not meet our level of perfection. We get tangled up in being immaculate. I’ve worked hard not to be a perfectionist, so when I came across that bit of scripture again recently, I, once again, reacted to it with disregard and confusion—not a good way to react to scripture.

I know perfection is impossible and shouldn’t even be pursued lest I become paralyzed in my quest to be flawless. There is no perfection on this side of eternity. I know I cannot be perfect, I made myself sick trying. Why would Jesus impose such an impossible directive on those He loves?

Ah, but I’ve also come to learn that when Jesus commands us to do something, He always promises to provide us with the grace to achieve it. His words in John’s Gospel provide the key. “Apart from me you can do nothing.” Apart from Him, I cannot reach perfection. Apart from Him, the world wallows in sin and destruction. Perfection in the way Jesus means is a work of transformation and something for me not to achieve but to surrender to. Through Jesus and His act of redemption, we reach perfection. Paul in his letter to Philippians gives us this assurance: “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I’ve learned that Jesus is working on me, and that sounds absolutely perfect to me.

Running for the End Zone

May 3, 2017/3 Comments/in Beauty, Catholic Theme, Catholic Writing and Publishing, Faith, Family Life, Hope, Spiritual Life/by Karina Fabian

By Janice Lane Palko

I recently celebrated my birthday. Now that I’m past the fifty-yard line of life and heading to the end zone, I can no longer deny that I am aging. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I could ignore the subtle signs of the advancing clock, and in my forties, platitudes like “forty is the new thirty” provided a flimsy veil of denial that I was growing older. However, when you hit your fifties, your children are grown, you are now called grandma, and conversations with friends gravitate toward aging parents, physical ailments, and possible retirement dates, there is no denying the obvious: I am getting older.

Many of us take a passive approach to our advancing years, believing that how one ages is out of one’s control–that it’s something that just happens to you. Others go into warrior mode and fight the “dying of the light” with hair plugs, Botox, and sundry other remedies in an attempt to vanquish the inevitable. This birthday spurred me to examine how I wanted to age. I decided I didn’t want to take the “curl up and die” approach and surrender to Father Time, but I also decided that I didn’t want to take the “aging rock star” approach and look foolish trying to cling to my youth at all cost. So how to approach this process of growing older? The second chapter of Luke’s Gospel provides the prescription. This last line jumped out at me as this chapter concludes: And Jesus increased in wisdom, and age, and grace with God and men.

It may seem odd talking about growing older when considering the immortality of Jesus. Though human and divine at the same time, Jesus, nevertheless, did age in body as is evident from his progression from birth as an infant to his culmination as an adult man in his thirties. Therefore, Jesus knew what it was to grow older, and as in all things, He provides the example for all humanity. This verse from Luke is His prescriptive on aging, and it implies that it should be an active, deliberative process that includes three aspects.

The first aspect is to grow in wisdom. To age following Jesus’s example, we must actively pursue wisdom. What exactly is wisdom? Proverbs 9: 10 tells us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Fear in this sense does not mean wariness of God, but of a healthy knowledge of His magnificence and our place and God’s place in His grand design. To acquire wisdom is not to gain knowledge but to be always persevering to know God and know ourselves in relation to Him.

The second aspect is to grow in age. While we know that Jesus advanced in years, many commentaries say that this phrase actually means to mature. Not only did Jesus grow in wisdom, but he flourished into our Savoir. What does it mean to mature? It means to become what God intended you to be, to embrace and fulfill your mission on earth. So, we are not only to gain knowledge of God and ourselves, but we are also to channel that wisdom into serving God by becoming exactly who He intended us to be.

Finally, we must grow in grace. Now, if Jesus is perfect, he could not have grown in grace as we usually think of it. Most biblical scholars take this passage to mean that Jesus performed greater and greater works for men and for God. Therefore, to follow in Jesus’s example, we must continue to acquire knowledge of God and ourselves and strive to fulfill our mission on earth. However, unlike Christ we are not perfected in grace. As such, we must rely on God to help us do greater and greater works in His name.

So, our golden years are designed not to be a passive time of acceptance of the elapsing years or an unreasonable attachment to bodily youth, but to enjoy a dynamic time of continued growth and development. We are to continue our run all the way to the end zone—perhaps with flagging physical strength and failing breath—but, nevertheless, with a vibrant spirit filled with wisdom, maturity, and grace.

When Picking up Your Pen Is Picking up Your Cross

April 5, 2017/4 Comments/in Catholic Theme, Catholic Writing and Publishing, Encouragement for Writers, Faith, Family Life, Hope, Inspirational, Spiritual Life, The Writing Life/by Karina Fabian

By Janice Lane Palko

How do you regard your writing career? Perhaps you’re like me. I’ve been putting words on paper for more than 20 years, and I’ve always regarded my propensity to write as a being a blessing and as a calling of sorts. I wrote last month how God and, to a lesser extent, we humans can take something meant for harm and turn it into good. My writing has been a blessing wrought from misery.

I’m a natural-born worrier. Some families seem to pass on the proclivity to become addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling while others seem to be prone to divorce or commit suicide, but my family’s fatal foible is to fret. We are world-class worriers. After my third and last child was born, now nearly 25 years ago, I began to experience panic attacks. At first, I didn’t know what was happening to me, but as a worrier, I, of course, assumed it had to be something catastrophic like a brain tumor. After consulting my family doctor and a visit to a therapist, it became apparent that I was under too much stress—a lot of which I was putting upon myself. In addition to having three small children at the time and getting no sleep and experiencing several family health crises, I have a vivid imagination. As such, I realized through some introspection and prayer, that I was using my God-given imagination to terrorize myself. For instance, if I saw a carjacking on the news, I would cast myself as a victim and play out the scenario in detail in my mind of what it would be like to be taken captive and held by brutal criminals.

Through prayer, reprioritizing my things in my life, and discovering that I could terrorize people on the page through writing instead of myself, I found a happier, more peaceful, and more productive life. That’s why I’ve always viewed my writing career as a blessing in my life. It refocused my mind on more productive things.

During this Lent, however, I’ve come to another perspective–one that seems contradictory since I love writing so much. I’ve become aware that writing may also be my cross. Not to trivialize Jesus’s passion and death by comparing it to the life of a writer, but when you are a writer, life is not all sunshine and roses. There is suffering. How many of us could paper the walls with rejection slips? How many of us have had a piece you’ve sweated over fall flat? How many of us have looked at a paltry royalty check and wondered if it’s all worth it? How many of us have watched as books like Fifty Shades of Grey soar to the top of the bestseller’s list while our writing attempts to edify and inspire bump along the bottom of the Amazon charts? How many of us have put in a full day’s work or spent all day taking care of a home and children only to use what little “me time” there is to eke out some writing?

In writing this piece, I did some research on what it means for Catholics to “take up their cross.” It seems that passage of scripture is often difficult to define, but I like this thought on it that Saint Pope John Paul II gave during World Youth Day in 2001.

“As the cross can be reduced to being an ornament, ‘to carry the cross’ can become just a manner of speaking. In the teaching of Jesus, however, it does not imply the pre-eminence of mortification and denial. It does not refer primarily to the need to endure patiently the great and small tribulations of life, or, even less, to the exaltation of pain as a means of pleasing God. It is not suffering for its own sake that a Christian seeks, but love. When the cross is embraced, it becomes a sign of love and of total self-giving. To carry it behind Christ means to be united with him in offering the greatest proof of love.”

Like the proverbial double-edge sword, I’ve come to see my writing as both a blessing and a cross much as Jesus’s cross is both a curse as it spelled suffering and death and yet, at the same time, was the greatest sign of His love for us. Suffering and love are always intertwined.

Therefore, as we come to another Easter, I’m going to dwell less on the suffering endured as a writer and strive to be more like Jesus and take up my cross and offer everything I put on the page as a great proof of love.

Pick up the Orange

January 4, 2017/8 Comments/in Beauty, Catholic Fiction, Catholic Theme, Catholic Writers Guild, Catholic Writing and Publishing, Encouragement for Writers, Hope, The Writing Life/by Karina Fabian

By Janice Lane Palko

Some people receive profound promptings from the Holy Spirit. Me? I get messages like “pick up the orange.”

A few weeks ago, I walked into my local grocery store and saw a woman select some oranges and put them in a plastic bag. As she walked away out of the corner of my eye, I saw an orange fall from the display and roll across the floor.

You should pick up the orange, said that still small voice.

Instantly, I began rationalizing. I didn’t dislodge the orange. Why should I pick it up? They have stock boys to do that. I’ll look stupid, like I have OCD or something, if I pick it up and put it back where it belongs. Let somebody else do it.

Then my better nature joined the debate. Will it kill you to pick up an orange? Geez, Mother Teresa picked up dying people from the streets, and you’re freaking out over an orange. How shallow are you? Who cares what people think? Someone may trip over it. You will be doing a good deed, no matter how insignificant.

So, I pushed my grocery cart over, picked up the orange, and put it back in the display. But then something else happened.

As I was about to press on with my grocery shopping, I caught a glimpse of a woman to my side bend and pick up another orange, one that I hadn’t even noticed had escaped with the other orange, and replace it in the display.

I was astounded. This woman was following my example.

That little interlude set me to thinking about life, and for those of us who write, about what our toils to turn a phrase may mean in the big scheme of things.

Several months ago, fellow CWG member Cathy Gilmore posted an article from the Catholic News Agency titled The Catholic Church Desperately Needs Artists by Mary Rezac. It detailed how the world so sorely needs creative people who can bring beauty and truth to the culture.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been writing for more than twenty years, and the monetary return on my artistic endeavors has yet to land me a summer home at the beach, a six-figure deal, or a stint on Oprah.

I attend a weekly Bible study, and shortly after the orange incident, our leader asked us to share our all-time favorite inspirational books. One woman recommended He and I by Gabrielle Bossis, a French, Catholic woman who lived from 1874-1950. He and I chronicles the interior conversation she and God shared. When she was putting these conversations on paper, Bossis didn’t know that after her death, they would be published, translated into many languages, and cherished by so many readers.

At times, it may be frustrating when we think of how much time and effort we put into our literary endeavors compared to the remuneration we receive in turn. However, I don’t, and I’m sure many of you don’t, write solely for financial gain. Then, take heart, fellow creatives. Though we may never know the extent of our influence, like Bossis, our work may do good long after we are gone.

I don’t know if God intends for me to be a best-selling author or not. But what I do know is that I’ll be fine with whatever magnitude of success I achieve. I’ll continue to write and strive to bring beauty and truth to the world through my work with the hope of glorifying God.

I may be only a stepping stone for someone who comes after me, a toehold for another writer on their climb to achieving loftier success in reviving what has been a hallmark of the Catholic Church throughout its existence: excellence in artistic expression for the glory of God.

Therefore, as this new year begins, I’m going to pick up that orange and keep on writing. I urge you to do the same. You never know who is watching us or reading works or being inspired by our example. We don’t know who may decide to follow us, who may bend down to pick up that orange we didn’t even realize had also rolled away.