The Power of a Smile

The Power of a Smile

When my kiddos were young, the local YMCA was a saving grace. My four daughters, ages four and under, loved playing in the childcare area almost as much as I loved a chance to pee uninterrupted. My mom-friends also belonged to the Y, so it was as much a playdate for me as it was for the kids.

At the YMCA, I learned that I do actually enjoy working out when it’s not a mandatory school class. I took various group classes that met my social needs and allowed me to try new exercises with no pressure or obligation. I remember especially fondly that if it weren’t for the YMCA, I may not have showered at all when my husband traveled for work. My twins are cute, but I couldn’t take my eyes off them for a minute!

Naturally, when I learned that my husband’s job was moving us to a new state, one of the first things I searched for was if our new town had a YMCA. To my great relief, it did. I’m fairly sure the girls and I trekked over there to become members on our second day there.

But everything was wrong with the new Y. My kids were scared of the new childcare area because they didn’t know the staff yet. They didn’t offer my favorite exercise classes. The cardio room was separate from the weights room, and both felt cramped: the building was regularly crowded, and my preferred machines weren’t available; I had to sign up for a turn on the cardio equipment and could only do thirty minutes at a time.

The worst part was how unfriendly everyone was, from the staff to my fellow patrons. I didn’t know anyone, and no one talked to me. Aside from a quick greeting as I dropped off my kids in the childcare area, I wouldn’t speak to a single person. I distinctly remember feeling profoundly alone while surrounded by people. They just weren’t my people.

One day, while I moped around the YMCA, bemoaning how I didn’t have any friends or even get a friendly smile, I realized the fault was mine. I recognized that from the moment I put the car in park, I hung my head and only looked at the ground. It was no wonder no one ever smiled at me. I didn’t give a single person I passed the opportunity.

At that moment, something changed in me. I decided to not be the reason for my own misery. I decided to lift my head, look everyone I passed in the eye, and smile. The most amazing thing happened: people smiled back.

I felt less alone from that day forward, not because I immediately made friends (which, I’m sad to report, didn’t happen overnight) but because I was connecting with other human beings. God created us in His image and likeness, and He created us for relationships. We aren’t meant to go through this life alone.

I learned some valuable lessons from that experience, the most notable being that I am responsible for my behavior. I can’t begrudge the unfriendliness of others when I don’t make the effort myself; something as small and simple as a smile can make a huge difference.

When I walk around looking people in the eyes and smiling, my soul is transformed. Even if I’m struggling and my life isn’t as simple and easy as I’d like, when I smile, I allow the joy that Christ offers to penetrate into my heart. What’s more, my smile is returned more often than not with a smile from a stranger’s face, further filling my soul with happiness.

These days, I don’t have to think about it: I’m always smiling. I love looking at other people and greeting them warmly. Each person I pass is a fellow creation of God, and I am blessed to be in her or his company. My kids often comment on how friendly I am—I get a chance to remind them that every person we pass has dignity and worth, regardless of her or his outward appearance. In this small, simple way, I get to share Christ’s joy with others.

If you’re feeling down or isolated, the most powerful tool you have requires only a few muscles in your face. It’s guaranteed to make you feel better, and chances are, your joy will spill into the strangers you pass. All you have to do is smile.

©Maria Riley 2024

Finding Treasures in Pockets of Time

 

Finding Treasures in Pockets of Time

When I run into other moms at church, in the neighborhood, or at the grocery store, I find that I am having the same conversation over and over. I say, “Hi! How are you?” and she replies, “Busy!” and then delves into her litany of appointments and tasks that fill her schedule, and I reply in kind by agreeing and sharing my own over-scheduled obligations. We end our rushed conversation and run off to get something else done.

Sometimes there are things in our lives that we need to purge. It may not always be easy to remove it, but often, we are aware of the things that consume our time and give us nothing in return. I find, in my life, those things are typically self-centered, and when I choose to live the way Christ wants me to, I am given the strength to remove those things that take up too much of my life.

As mothers, though, so much of our life is spent in service to others. We are chefs, nurses, house cleaners, and chauffeurs, not to mention boo-boo kissers, story time tellers, snuggle buddies, and behavior correctors. Then our mother-in-law comes to visit, and we must be the perfect hostesses. The list goes on indefinitely, but the hours in the day do not.

How do we find time for Christ when we are pulled in so many different directions? It is especially difficult when these many different directions are for good things for our families. From time to time, I have found myself wishing for the seemingly simple life of a nun, especially when I am craving time and intimacy with our Lord but finding the demands of my vocation of motherhood to be standing in my way. But then I remember the beautiful gift of my calling, and I have worked to grow in my relationship with Christ within the demands of my schedule.

I rarely have large blocks of time, but I am regularly gifted with what I call “pockets of time” throughout the day. I have five minutes here or there, often while I am waiting for something, that I used to spend scrolling on my phone or otherwise distracting myself. Now, I try to be purposeful with these pockets of time and turn to God in prayer, even if I don’t have time to read the daily readings or journal in my Bible study workbook.

I used to get stuck in my growth toward Jesus because if I didn’t have 20–30 minutes to sit down, read, pray, and reflect, I wouldn’t do anything at all. Then, by the end of the day, I would feel like a failure because my spiritual time was just something else that I didn’t get done today (along with a shower or getting that laundry from a week ago folded). Somewhere along the way, I realized that God never gave me a set of expectations for how and when I have to pray. That came from my own unrealistic expectations, compounded by comparing myself to other women who seem to have it all together in their faith journeys.

Now, instead of dedicating 20–30 minutes to God in the morning, I turn to Him for a minute or two 20—30 times per day. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I say hello to the Lord, offer my day to Him, and ask Him to show me His will. When I begin a household chore, I offer it for someone in need. I pray for a moment before I start a workout, thanking God for the gift of my body, the temple which houses my soul and the Holy Spirit. I have learned that just a few moments is all it takes to recenter my day and draw closer to Christ.

The best part about approaching my prayer life in this way is how my spiritual life has deepened and grown. Previously, once I had completed my morning prayer time and reflection, I would check the “Time for God” box and then go on with my day. Now, by regularly recentering myself and refocusing on God many times throughout the day, I am able to let Him work in me and through me all day long. It is such a gift that God has helped transform my life so that my entire day has become a prayer.

© Maria Riley 2024

God’s Christmas Wish

God’s Christmas Wish

Finding myself deep in the throes of holiday madness recently, a short phrase spoken by a house guest caused me to stop and think about where my focus is this Christmas Season.

“We want as much as we can get. All dogs want are the crumbs.”

Among the busyness that comes with the holidays are many suggestions for the gift-giving season. As a child, I recall giving my parents my gift wishes in not-so-subtle ways. I circled toys in catalogs and newspaper ads, as a blatant way of letting them know all I hoped for that Christmas. I have lovely memories of how my children voiced their wish lists, and I am enjoying how creativity is growing with each new generation.

Fixing our eyes on the birth of Christ becomes complicated when the commercialization of Christmas is all around us. Somewhere, at some point, there needs to be a balance. After all, God gave us the best Christmas gift ever, and doing the same for our families is good. Keeping our hearts aligned with God in the process is even better.

I never imagined such a profound statement coming from giving our dog apple pie crumbs. The truth in those words echoes in my heart days later. At this time of year especially, we do want as much as we can get, and if you think about it, the little dog considers the crumbs a full-course meal. I don’t think I will ever look at a piece of apple pie the same, and if my little dog plays her cards right, she may end up with a whole slice!

What would this look like if we flipped the circumstances just a little? Would crumbs be enough in everything we pray for or desire from God? If God’s will for our lives is not to receive the wish list in our minds but to receive only a portion, can we be as content as the dog receiving scraps? Taking it even one step further, let’s imagine that we are holding the meal, and God is patiently waiting for us to give Him a portion—how much are you willing to give God? Are you offering only crumbs or the entire piece?

A relationship with God requires opening your heart and giving God your time and energy. We put forth all of these things to the multitudes during the holidays. I never think twice about making time for shopping, baking cookies, and attending holiday gatherings. However, there are times when my prayer life suffers amidst the holiday madness. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ, God’s one and only Son, given to us as a gift. It is a beautiful gift for you and me to offer our time, energy, and focus to the God who gave us life.

So how do we find that balance, the sweet spot where we can check off the holiday to-do list while staying true to our commitment to the intimacy of prayer? The obvious would be to put God first. This is easier said than done when our minds focus on everything else. Perhaps a written wish list between you and God might do the trick. Consider what God might wish for you, and then offer your requests prayerfully each day. Actions such as these will help to keep your heart and mind focused on involving God in the holiday preparations.

As you wrap presents and tie beautiful bows this holiday season, offer a prayer or two for God’s children who are happy and content with what little they have. Pray for the desire and grace to be satisfied with what God has given you, and perhaps drop a crumb or two to the little dog waiting at your side; God is right there with them.


Copyright 2023 text and dog photo: Kimberly Novak
Other Images: Canva

 

A Wonka Way of Life

A Wonka Way of Life

I love board games. I especially love them now that my kids have graduated from Candyland to (slightly) more advanced and strategic games. I find that playing board games with my kids is the easiest way for me to have them off screen time without them driving me insane or physically accosting each other. (Yes, my girls look adorable, but they’re feisty.)

Our current family favorite is Willy Wonka’s The Golden Ticket Game. Essentially, you play as one of the five children from the film, and collect Willy Wonka Bars through various actions. At the end of the game, when all the pretend candy bars have been collected, the players look inside their Wonka Bars to discover if they have won one of the coveted Golden Tickets. At least one player is left without a Golden Ticket, more if someone is lucky enough to have found more than one ticket in his or her own stock pile of candy bars.

Since they were itty bitty, I’ve never let my kids win at games. (Okay, maybe I skew the game a little bit, but I’ve never completely thrown one.) I believe that learning how to deal with losing is an absolutely fundamental skill that our kids need to learn as early as possible. We have a little song that the loser sings to the winner after a game, which goes, “You won, you won, but I had a lot of fun.” Then the winner has to clean up the game so there’s a tiny bit of retribution.

The original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie from 1971 still gets regular viewing around our house too. (The anticipation is already growing for the Willy Wonka origins story releasing later this fall.) In the original film, we meet the eccentric Willy Wonka, who lives in a realm that seems contrary to the rest of the world. His jovial spirit and quirky mannerisms can seem enticing and confusing at the same time. He delivers countless iconic lines; my favorite one is when, after he says that they have so little to do with so much time, he exclaims, “Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.”

I feel like Jesus says that to me too in my call to Christianity. He says, “The world is doing X, but you need to strike that and reverse it.”

The American cancel-culture is infectious these days. When a person makes a single mistake, we are not only permitted but encouraged to cut them out of our lives permanently. This goes for celebrities and family members alike. If someone doesn’t agree with our religious or political views, we simply unfollow and block all communication. If someone hurts us, we self-medicate with booze instead of searching for true peace through forgiveness. We justify and excuse our actions because the rest of the world behaves that way too.

As Christians, we are called to live an upside-down, Willy-Wonka-type life. Where others refuse to forgive, we are called to love all the more deeply. Where others seek worldly recognition, we are called to work lovingly from the shadows. Where others seek riches, we are called to generously share all that we have been given. When the world says, “Do X,” we have to wait, strike that, and reverse it.

© Maria Riley 2023

Photo License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Why Do We Write?

Why Do We Write?

I never knew him. Even after he died, it would be another 60 years before I made my humble entrance onto the world stage as one of his many great, great grandchildren. The family occasionally spoke of him through the years, but I didn’t start to ask questions until I was in my 20’s.

He is my famous ancestor, a man formerly renowned for his musical and literary works, not to mention his well-heeled occupations as dramatist, professor and newspaper Editor.

His parents were famous and educated as well, along with his siblings and cousins for all manner of accomplishments in the fine arts. In fact, if you look him up (or his family line) you will discover that most of them have Wikipedia pages (you know you’ve arrived when you have your own Wikipedia page).

By now, I’m sure you’re wondering who I’m referring to, so I’ll put an end to your white-knuckled impatience. I am speaking about John Hill Hewitt, the great writer, poet, composer and author.

Underwhelmed, eh?

Yes, he gets that a lot.

John Hill Hewitt was indeed a famous man of musical and literary talent in 19th century America. He was born in 1801, and by 1825, he had published his first song, ‘The Minstrel’s Return’d from the War,’ which would go on to receive international acclaim. It was this song that earned Hewitt the title of, “Father of the American Ballad.” Unfortunately for my family, the song was published without a copyright, so there is no family fortune, or Hewitt millions.

John Hill Hewitt would go on to produce hundreds of songs, which would garner him a measure of fame and recognition. He also published many poems, essays, stories and plays. Several plays were produced in the South during the Civil War, and were quite popular in the confederate states, since they portrayed Abraham Lincoln in an unflattering light.

It is interesting to note that, during his life here on earth, John Hill Hewitt possessed the uncanny ability to be in the foreground of American History. He was present for the maiden launch of the first Fulton steamboat. He was in the room when Samuel Morse sent the first telegraph message over the Baltimore-Washington line with the famous message, “What hath God wrought.” He mingled and was personally acquainted with the likes of Henry Clay, John Tyler, Jefferson Davis, Davy Crockett, Walt Whitman, and … Edgar Allan Poe.

Certainly, an illustrious and accomplished man by human standards. In fact, he remains a celebrity in our family hagiography.

And yet … John Hill Hewitt was not satisfied. If you read his autobiography, or the family papers and letters, it becomes apparent almost immediately that he felt as if his work was not adequately appreciated. He was competitive and occasionally quarrelsome with other luminaries of the age, as he struggled for prominence in the American literary world.

This struggle was painfully evident in Hewitt’s relationship with Edgar Allan Poe. I think it is even safe to say, that my dear ancestor believed Poe to be his nemesis. He seemed perpetually annoyed and then perplexed by Poe’s rising fame—never fully appreciating Poe’s vision or appeal.

Poe, for his part, was not terribly fond of my grandfather either—and their mutual animosity became physical one night in a Baltimore alleyway. Both men had entered a literary contest sponsored by The Visitor. JH Hewitt was the Editor of The Visitor, so he entered the contest using a pen name. As a result, Poe and Hewitt were awarded first prize. Poe, for his short story, and Hewitt for his poem.

Poe was not happy with this arrangement, and believed that he should have won both prizes. He accused Hewitt of cheating, since he was the paper’s editor, and of course my great, great grandfather being the man he was, punched Edgar Allan Poe in the face. According to history, here ends the tale of two famous literary talents duking it out in the streets of Baltimore. But I’ll let you in on a little family lore: my great-grandmother always used to say, “That papa had to hit Poe because he was no gentleman, and he didn’t know how to treat his wife.” So, there you have it; a little semi-ancient gossip that didn’t make it into the history books.

After Poe’s death, John Hill Hewitt was tapped to offer one of several eulogies; a task he did not relish. But that wouldn’t be the last time he was asked about Poe. Eventually, everyone wanted to talk to him about his animus toward Poe. The contentious relationship between the two men, actually became a defining factor during the last half of my grandfather’s career. This must have been a sobering realization.

Life is full of ironies … and this little story is one of them. John Hill Hewitt spent nearly a century crafting and honing a place for himself in the annals of literary fame, while simultaneously attempting to outshine other luminaries in the field … Edgar Allan Poe, specifically. But in the final analysis, it was Poe who would go on to garner literary immortality, while my grandfather became nothing more than a footnote at the bottom of a biography on the life of Edgar Allan Poe.

Reflecting on all of this family history leads me back to my original question: Why do we write? What’s in it for us? Are we writing because we believe in something? Do we have a message, a philosophy … an agenda? Do we write for personal satisfaction, catharsis, recognition … or something else?

I love my family, and I adore our family hagiography, but I’m a realist and I can see the errors of my literary ancestor rather clearly. He possessed credible talent, but having talent was never enough for him. He wanted something beyond writing and composing. He loved fame … perhaps more than he loved to write, and I cannot help but wonder if that was his downfall.

We all like to receive recognition. Who doesn’t love a good review? But, I pray that I will always write, first and foremost for God, and then for me.

And when it is time for me to leave this earth, I want only one sentence written about my life:

“God is all that matters, and that is why she wrote.”

© Copyright 2023 by Sarah Torbeck

Images from the personal files of Sarah Torbeck. Used with permission.

I Wasn’t Prepared

I Wasn’t Prepared

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay

A few weeks ago in church, I listened to the sermon about the parable of the ten virgins, five of which were wise and the other five of which were foolish.  All went out carrying lamps to wait for and greet the coming Bridegroom. The five wise virgins brought oil with their lamps, whereas the five foolish ones did not. The five foolish ones took it upon themselves to wait until the Bridegroom came, at which point they would ask their wise counterparts for some of their oil. However, the wise ones told them that they could not share their oil with them, lest there would not be enough. The foolish virgins’ only other alternative was to go out and buy their own, but by the time they arrived at the scene of the Bridegroom’s arrival, they could not attend the wedding banquet with Him. The five wise virgins, on the other hand, were prepared, and hence, they were admitted.

My ears perked up when I heard this. When you think about it, it can be scary. It can feel pressurizing to be prepared for the coming of Jesus, lest we miss out on eternal bliss and peace. Nothing is worse than that, although when I heard this sermon, it reminded me of a similar experience of my own in which I was not prepared. No, I didn’t miss out on getting to heaven (at least not yet), but I missed out on something that could have been very good for me. It has been a hard lesson, and I’m still in the process of forgiving myself for this foolish mistake, which I will describe.

I was preparing to make a “leap of faith” and abandon my current temp job to start a freelance case study copywriting career. Saying goodbye to bosses, commutes, deadlines, pointless meetings, and office politics seemed almost within my grasp. I wanted to create a dream job scenario for myself which would allow me the flexibility to work from home doing something I loved, all while making my own hours, deciding what days I wanted to take off, being able to attend to my children’s upcoming issues at school or at home, et al. Being in job transition had allowed me that flexibility, and it had also allowed me to nurture my faith journey and my prayer life, and I got very attached to that routine.  The last thing I wanted was to stay in my current temp job or even to take on another job – temporary or permanent. 

The time had come for me, I had decided, to be in charge of myself, but when I received the phone call about a job interview in civil service, I should have been ecstatic. Here was a chance for me to work in an environment which is known for being accommodating to people who have children with special needs, for being generous with paid holidays, sick time, and time off in general, job security, solid benefits, and interesting work with good pay. My stupidity got in the way, and my emotions got the better of me because I thought that “my way” with the freelance copywriting career was the ticket to my financial success and my ability to be available for myself and my kids. As a result, I did not take preparing for the interview seriously. I went in with the attitude that I did not care whether I got the job, but that was before I got there and realized that this could be a great thing. 

As soon as I got to the office building in Ridgewood, Queens, I gaped. The surroundings were breathtaking. I looked around and realized that I could be happy making this trip into work every day. Then I went in for the interview. There was a panel of three people, all wonderful, warm, and friendly. They made me feel at home, and the questions they asked were pretty straightforward. Still, I did not feel as though I had done my job of preparing, and I’m almost sure that I blew it. I walked out of there wondering how I could have been so careless as to not prepare myself for this good thing. Had I taken it seriously, I could have gotten into the “banquet,” but I was like those five foolish virgins, and now for the rest of my life, I have to live with the consequences of my attitude. My only consolation in all of this is twofold – I learned a lesson, and I have not yet blown my chances of making it into the “banquet” of heaven.  At least with that, there’s still time to prepare.

© Copyright 2023 by Michael Vassallo

Featured image Image by Aksel Lian from Pixabay

Little Sundays

Little Sundays

Every Sunday is a Holy day of obligation, a day set aside to gather with community and worship Our Father in heaven. This day can also be observed by attending a Sunday Vigil celebrated on Saturday evening. Catholic teaching instructs us to refrain from engaging in work or activities that deter the worship owed to God. Recently I took a day away and referred to it as my “Sabbath,” and I pondered whether or not, in today’s society, these teachings are being honored.

I can admit that I have worked on Sundays in the past. Whether it be writing, cooking, or cleaning, these all take on the energy of work and direct my attention away from worshiping God. I could argue that my writing is spiritual and for the Glory of God, so perhaps that is allowed. I’ve yet to answer that thought. However, I know that engaging in writing on the Lord’s Day is different than attending church, coming home, and reflecting on the readings, sermon, and worship music.
It would be lovely to come home from Mass and simply enjoy celebrating God with my family and friends over a meal. My husband and I like to watch old black-and-white television programs, where families are often depicted attending church service on Sundays and then relax on their front porch, carelessly and effortlessly enjoying the day of rest. I guess observing the Lord’s Day in past generations proved a little easier to do. I wonder what it would feel like if, in today’s culture, we made a considerable effort to set this day aside for the one who created us.

“Work shall be done for six days, but the seventh is the Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord.”
Exodus 31:15 NKJV

My sabbath day away showed me how much my heart and mind craved one-on-one attention with God. I promised myself more of these days away from my routine to enjoy a full day of prayer and spiritual activities. I’m a little nervous about the holidays approaching if I will be able to honor the time I have set aside. I am organized and a good planner, but we all know how life intervenes and takes us off course. Because of that, I began thinking about other ways to honor God ahead of Sundays and days of spiritual enlightenment. I hope that by creating Little Sunday moments, my heart will be ignited and thirsting for more of God. All the while effortlessly easing me into honoring the seventh day of rest.

I have a few ideas based on my individual preferences. However, you can all devise your own Little Sunday moments. Each day, our local Christian Radio station, 95.5 The Fish, invites listeners to pray The Lord’s Prayer. Engaging in those few minutes is enough to draw the Lord into my day and close to my heart. Another opportunity is praying the Divine Office or Liturgy of the Hours. Many Catholic prayer apps and online tools can help you get started.

If you want to keep your focus on Jesus, honor the day of rest, and grow closer to God, then consider praying about how God is calling you toward Him. From this, devise your plan for Little Sundays throughout your week. Engage in conversations with your family and friends, inviting them to participate. For the time being, when I feel called to write on the Lord’s Day, I will first engage in prayer and allow God to guide my thoughts. If they end up on the page, I know it was because God designed it for His Greater Glory. God calls us to be set apart or different from ordinary things and turn our focus toward Him. I pray that your Little Sundays become stepping stones toward your complete surrender to the Sabbath day of rest, holy to the Lord.


Copyright 2023 Kimberly Novak
Images: Canva

My Dad Was Always Prepared

My Dad Was Always Prepared

Mom would give Dad a clean crisp package of handkerchiefs for every Thanksgiving and Christmas. He would take a close look at them, smile, and thank her—then, *shoop* into Dad’s pants pocket, one of the handkerchiefs would go. I will never forget my dad’s pants. More specifically, his pockets. It didn’t matter if he wore jeans, work pants, overhauls, or a suit … he always had three bulging pockets.

In his front right, there was always a stubby screwdriver, a pocketknife with at least five blades, a coin pouch (the type that you squeeze on the sides and opens like a duck’s bill), and usually some binding material (twine, twist ties, baling wire, a small roll of duct tape, etc.).

The front left was reserved for the “quick reference area.” Receipts, checks (usually kept in a little plastic bag), a little business card-sized notepad, and a stubby pencil. If he were out on the ranch/farm, he would usually have his pliers in a holster on his right hip—think Quick Draw McGraw, only with pliers instead of a Colt revolver. But if he were “dressing,” he’d slip the pliers in the front left pocket with his “paperwork.”

The rear right always had a two-inch thick billfold that was brimming over with pictures, cards, more checks, phone numbers, addresses, leads of upcoming livestock sales, advertisements, Christmas present ideas for friends and family … oh yeah, and a few dollar bills.

The rear left? Well, that was sacred ground. Dad always carried two handkerchiefs. He used to say, “One for me and one for somebody who needs it.” I’ve lost track of the times when I saw Dad just hand over a handkerchief to someone in tears at a funeral, wedding, or just because. He’d give it to a mother or father who was trying to take care of their child who had a runny nose or skinned knee.

Dad was sort of like the parable of the Ten Virgins. “Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him! Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps …” His lamp was always trimmed, at the ready, and he always carried just enough oil.

And Dad had the wisdom of Wisdom 6, “For taking thought of wisdom is the perfection of prudence, and whoever for her sake keeps vigil shall quickly be free from care…” He was always ready, looking, vigilant for things to be fixed earlier rather than later so they didn’t deteriorate or become worse. He didn’t have a care; he knew he was ready!

Fast Forward

In retirement, Dad retained his chipmunk pockets, even after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s and waking one morning in long-term care. On the first day, the admissions nurse went through all his personal belongings. They wouldn’t let him keep the majority of things he always carried in his overflowing pockets.

With head down, a slight smile on his face, he handed over all his lifetime pocket loot to me and said, “Well, this is yours now.” I looked through the plastic shopping bag and asked if he wanted to keep the small notepad and stubby pencil. He just glanced up and said, “Nah, you still need it. I’m retired. You take over,” and he wheeled down the hallway. It was like the gates had opened and then closed behind him. He didn’t have to be vigilant; he didn’t have to stay awake any longer. It was time for the banquet—and he was inside the gates.

Now, I always carry a handkerchief that my wife has embroidered a special note or character on. Thanks, Dad.

Copyright 2023 Ben Bongers

Book Review: Dining with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Righteous Feast

Review: Dining with the Saints:

The Sinner’s Guide to a Righteous Feast

Viewers of the long-running tv drama, Blue Bloods, have created a popular culture undercurrent of anticipation for the program’s Sunday supper scenes. In it, four generations of Reagans, New York-based Irish American Catholics dedicated to law and service, gather to pray, argue, commiserate, laugh, and reminisce over a family-prepared meal. There, they remind one another from whence and whom they came and where they are going. The elders, Gramps and Dad, preside from each end of the dining table like two Solomons, maintaining order and reason. Regardless of the strife and animosity that may have come between siblings or parent and child during the week, they now sit for a meal among kin. All ages participate in an unspoken understanding that the place is sacred and together they join in a reverent act.

What the fictional Reagans play out exemplifies “theology of food,” the concept behind Fr. Leo Patalinghug’s ministry, Plating Grace. In Dining with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Righteous Feast, he and co-author, Michael P. Foley, help diners create their own family altar and a feast for the body, mind, and spirit that recalls Psalm 34:8: “O taste and see that the Lord is good.” Countless studies have documented increased depression, loneliness, and poor health habits in this country. We are paying for the lack of tradition, family, and faith. Twenty-first century Americans starve not only for nutritious meals but an “encounter experience” with one another. The authors are keenly aware that the canceling of thanking God for His gifts and sacrifices, for which we hunger, and asking Him to bless our meals before digging in leaves a void within. “We fear that the loss of the family dinner will also have a bad effect on the very source and summit of our worship (page x).”

More than a cookbook, Dining with the Saints provides a framework upon which folks may fortify their bodies, relationships with one another, and with God. The volume packs ideas for meals, conversation, and prayer in its 353 pages. Most of the 140 recipes, designed by Fr. Leo to be tasty, convenient, and nutritious, require few ingredients and little prep and cook time to afford a nourishing homemade repast.

Father Leo is known for his affability and humor. His experiences include penning the book Saving the Family and Spicing Up Married Life, an EWTN cooking show, and a memorable “beat down” of Bobby Flay on the Food Network, all of which showcase the means and methods by which he evangelizes. His fans will want this latest. This work, however, is just as much Mr. Foley’s. The hardcover’s title, clever cover design, and organization all parallel his other books, Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour and the smaller Drinking with your Patron Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to Honoring Namesakes and Protectors. The Baylor University professor with expertise in the early church, charmingly and theologically contributes Food for Thought portions and saints and seasons and with the recipes. “Whenever possible, Dining with the Saints presents what a saint actually ate or a piece of advice he or she gave about eating and drinking.” (page x). Mr. Foley’s knowledge of hagiography (the lives of the saints) presents some twists and turns, even for saint devotees.

It’s well known that St. Padre Pio bore the stigmata, but how many could correctly name his favorite vegetable or how it reflects of his personality? Another curiosity is the Chicken Tikka Masala (April 21) that many would assume would be attributed St. Thomas who was “hailed as the apostle of India,” but not so. That honor goes to Italian-born St. Anselm. For our Doubting Thomas, the authors chose a German sweet bread, Saint Thomas’s Kletzenbrot (Dec. 21). Some dishes have rather straightforward names such as Angel Food Cupcakes (Oct. 2, Feast of Guardian Angels), but the intriguing gelatin mold made with fresh raspberries may be lost for the evening’s dessert because it’s called Blancmange (December 29, Feast of the Holy Innocents). Candlemas, also known as the Presentation of Jesus Christ (Feb. 2), offers the ever-delectable Lemon Meringue Pie.

The authors deliver a delightful glimpse into Catholic church past using the 1962 Roman calendar which has more feast days, many unknown to post-Vatican II generations. Even the most catechized Catholic will appreciate discovering some long-forgotten days, such as Drunkard’s Thursday and Quinquagesima Sunday. Part One of the book ties recipe selections with the Feasts of Saints calendar. Part Two addresses the Liturgical Seasons. A five-page reference shows a side-by-side comparison of the “new” date with the traditional. A practical index based on course or main ingredient helps the culinarian find a recipe more quickly. The authors, however, encourage preparing the dishes any time. Enjoy the savory Sausage with Onion Gravy dedicated to Gregory the Great on the “old” date of March 12, the “new” date of September 3, or whenever the occasion fits. St. Gregory’s Food for Thought reminds that “evangelizing requires fellowship with people . . .becoming a part of other people’s lives. . . . Breaking bread together creates a sense of communion . . .” (page 40).  Share it with those close to you and those you want to know. Download some Gregorian chants and enjoy food, fellowship, and God’s blessings upon you.


Copyright 2023 Mary McWilliams
Images and quotes used with permission, copyright 2023, Regency House

A Move Yet Still Home

A Move Yet Still Home

Last spring, I moved with my family to Kansas, which is my ninth lifetime state (I also studied abroad and lived in London for four months, so if you count that, I’m in the double digits). Only recently did I begin to appreciate the blessing that being Catholic truly is.

Like most cradle Catholics, I’ve always had God in my life. Growing up, weekly Mass and CCD were omnipresent. As we’ve grown our own family, those same traditions have persisted. Regardless which state or city we moved to, a Catholic parish and the True Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist was always available.

Prior to this move, we lived in Florida, and our parish there was something special. Not only were we close enough to walk or bike ride to Mass, but that parish felt alive in a special way. The list of ministries was lengthy, and there were always events or service projects we could be a part of. I volunteered with faith formation, participated in the moms’ ministry, Walking with Purpose, and Bible study. There were monthly socials after a daily Mass, quarterly family events after the Youth and Family Mass (where kids served as ushers and lectors), and no shortage of friendly conversations in the parking lot. To say we loved this family-friendly parish would be an understatement.

When the news came that we were moving to Kansas for my husband’s new job, my heart sank knowing we had to leave our parish. It really had become a second home for us. I knew we wouldn’t find a parish like that in Kansas. I had lived in seven other states in my life, and that parish is unique.

My husband and I traveled to Kansas for a weekend to get to know the area and do some house hunting, and we visited the local Catholic Church for Sunday Mass. My heart was hardened before I walked into the sanctuary. I simply knew it wouldn’t be as good as our old parish.

I looked around and proceeded to judge everything. The tabernacle wasn’t prominent enough. The crucifix was too small. The choir performed instead of inviting us to participate. The priest was old and unenthusiastic. Everything I saw I disliked, and I wanted to be back in Florida.

Then the homily began. I don’t remember the readings for that Sunday, nor do I remember the beginning of the homily. What I do know is that God spoke directly to me that day through his faithful servant’s words.

He reminded us that we don’t come to Mass every week because of the priest or the social time. We come because Jesus meets us here, body, blood, soul, and divinity in the Eucharist. No matter which church we are in, he comes to us there.

Bam. My hardened heart softened. I was struck, and instantly humbled at my own arrogance and pride. Tears flowed down my face as I really let Jesus into my heart. Jesus reminded me that I’m there for him. Not the priest, not the building, and not the socialization. It doesn’t matter which parish I belong to, because Jesus is there for me, and I come to meet him. That’s all that matters.

I looked back on all the states and all the parishes and finally fully appreciated the gift I have in the Catholic Church. While I do still miss my old friends and the community of the parish in Florida, my heart remains grateful for his presence that I’m able to receive, regardless of where I live.

Maria Riley 2023

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