Making Peace with the Sea Oats

Making Peace with the Sea Oats

by Paula Veloso Babadi

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”—John 14:27

Letting go isn’t always easy. I know because I’ve been holding on to a dilapidated container housing sea oats that are at least sixty years removed from the Pensacola dunes where our family picked them. Every time I look at them, I am reminded of a happy childhood, where every Sunday after Mass, my parents, sisters, and I would trek to paradise in our yellow station wagon, packed with a picnic, beach gear, and lots of laughter and singing.

Two years ago, I wrote a poem about those sea oats after realizing that every time I passed by them in my office/library a few more oats would fall to the ground. I questioned why I couldn’t just throw them out. They weren’t just sea oats to me—they were the sun and smile of my parents, the kindness of my sisters who spent their allowances to buy the wicker urn. They were the warmth of our home, the memory of gatherings in the family room (where they sat for years), a lovely complement to the wavy blue colors of the carpet. I knew they were a daily reminder of my wonderful parents and sisters, and I wasn’t ready to let go.

When I complained about the mess the sea oats were making, my sister, Virginia, recommended a couple of years ago that I should take a picture and then dispose of them in a dignified manner. I never did. But after talking with Virginia today, I told her I was ready to let them go and would bury them in my garden in a nice spot where they will enrich the earth. I’ll hold on to my memories, and I am at peace with that gift.

 

Sea Oats

by Paula Veloso Babadi

 

More than half a century ago,

they stood tall in a white wicker urn,

salty grain dipping towards the ocean

of my parents’ multi-blue Sears and Roebuck carpet.

 

Before storms Camille, Opal, and Ivan,

before the erosion of sugar-fine dunes,

before laws forbidding their plucking,

we watched our treasures sway in the air-conditioned breeze

and smiled with memories of their harvest,

on lazy Gulf days by surf, sun, and sea life.

 

Today, my parents are gone.

The sea oats are withered and sparse

drooping over now-grayed wicker walls,

resting against my crisp white library shelves.

Any breeze might rob them of the last browned seeds,

But parting is not yet an option.

 

Copyright 2025 Paula Veloso Babadi

Edited by Gabriella Batel

Photo Credit Pexels

Dramatic Dahlia

Dramatic Dahlia

 

And from His fulness we have all received, grace upon grace. – John 1:16

 

I noticed it in the neighbor’s yard near Mom’s house – a giant flower blooming upon a single tall stem. It was unlike any cultivated flower I’d ever seen.  Peach in color, it had straight, pointed dense petals that radiated up and out to result in a huge blossom the size of a dinner plate.

Although this immense bloom stood near other flowering shrubs, its dramatic size captured the onlooker’s gaze. I’d never seen anyone working in the yard but was tempted to knock upon the door just to find out the variety of this stunning stroke of nature.

You can imagine my surprise the next afternoon, after walking through Mom’s rec room and climbing the six steps to the kitchen to find that very same flower standing in a vase on the kitchen table. The aide stood at the counter preparing an afternoon snack for Mom, and she filled me in.

On their daily walk, Mom and her aide had shared friendly conversation several times with the neighbor in whose yard the flower grew. It was he who had picked this masterpiece and chosen to bestow it upon my sweet, Alzheimer’s-stricken mother. The gardener gave the best flower of all to Mom.

Lord, thank you for choosing the most fragile among us to receive the greatest graces.

Reflect: Can you think of a time when someone brought you flowers or fresh garden produce?  Think about the fragrance or the taste, appreciating God’s goodness in those moments

 

The above selection is Entry #37 in Part IV: Summer Daze of Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey (© 2024, En Route Books and Media)

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

She is not in Scripture, but St. Veronica Captures the ‘True Image’ of Christ’s Teachings

She is not in Scripture, but St. Veronica Captures the ‘True Image’ of Christ’s Teachings

July 2025 revealed significant information about family caregivers that applies to millions of people. The data has gone largely unnoticed in favor of more scintillating political headlines of the summer. AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving released the 140-page,Caregiving in the US, a report which discloses the startling revelation that nearly 25 percent of Americans are long-term caregivers of a family member. That percentage translates to 63 million caregivers, an increase of 45 percent in only 10 years.¹

The non-quantifiers: loneliness, isolation, and lack of training haven’t changed in the last decade. The struggle to continue working for financial stability versus giving the appropriate care the loved one needs remains an issue, although government programs have been enacted this year to pay some caregivers. The majority of family caregivers are women, who are among the 59 million providing for patients that the report refers to as having a “complex medical condition or disability.” ¹

The role of faith and prayer are absent from the report and, if it were included, might provide a bright spot in an otherwise bleak portrait. The Catholic Church’s contributions to hospitals and hospice have been documented over the generations, but strangely, there is no patron saint for this kind of family caregiving. St. John typically pops up first in a search for bringing the Blessed Mother into his home following the Crucifixion. St. Vincent DePaul for his nurturing sometimes is mentioned. St. Elizabeth of Hungary who fed the poor is an option for people looking for a woman caregiver. There are others too, all of whom provided mighty works of corporal mercy, but don’t quite reflect the model of family caregivers that could provide the quiet, strong support the faithful seek.

 

Here is one to consider: St. Veronica. 

What did Veronica do?

Veronica is known for handing a cloth to Jesus Christ on the Via Dolorosa to wipe his face. He imprinted his face, and this cloth that is still believed to exist is stored in Rome at the Vatican. That is Veronica’s action at the most basic level.

But what exactly did she do and what does it have to do with modern-day family caregivers?

Veronica was available in the moment when Jesus would pass by, willing to change her whole life. She had paid attention to the events leading up to Jesus’s way to the cross and anticipated, regardless of the difficulties it would bring to her personally, the moment when she would be needed. She broke through the Centurion guards to reach Jesus. Consider that risk. Without looking and with just an elbow, one of the guards could have knocked her to the ground, rendering her unconscious. Any one of them could have applied more force, just for the fun of it. We know, based on what they did to Jesus, that inflicting pain was sport to them. In any way, they could have prevented her from reaching Him. Her focus, faith, and compassion, just to offer a moment of comfort and care to a man who was on his way to death, were stronger than a Centurion guard. It seems like so much to do for something so little, and in the end, wouldn’t change the outcome.

Family caregivers exhibit these characteristics.

True, in 2025 the landscape is much different, but caregivers still have their own kind of Centurion guards. Anyone dealing with insurance companies, medical establishment, or critical and absent family members faces their own Centurion guards. There is also the inner Centurion guard to confront. Uprooting your life to take care of someone isn’t easy to do, even knowing it’s the right thing and you’ll end up doing it. These foes want to tear the caregiver down, but faith, focus, and compassion prove stronger. Caregiving can last for weeks, months, or years. Some days can feel like years, but in many cases the whole period turns out to be little more than a blink compared with two people’s lifetimes. It’s a big job too, but it’s those ordinary happenings — sharing a memory while buttoning a pajama top or finding a silly moment during a bath— that prove to have the same impact as offering and receiving a face cloth. 

Who was Veronica?

Maybe the most surprising facet of the Veronica story is that, unlike Simon of Cyrene and the weeping women, Veronica is not mentioned in the Bible. She is a part of Catholic tradition. We know her from the sixth of the 14 traditional Stations of the Cross, a Catholic devotion that has been in existence for centuries. Some traditions claim her as the unnamed woman who hemorrhaged for 12 years (Matthew 9:20-22; Mark 5:25-34; Luke 8:43-48). We also know her through Catholic mystics. The 14th Century reclusive English nun, Julian of Norwich, refers to her by name in the second and eighth visions in The Revelation of Divine Love in Sixteen Showings but does not speak specifically about her.

No one, however, offers a caregiver profile of Veronica better than Bl. Anne Catherine Emmerich, beatified by Pope St. John Paul II in 2004. She describes Veronica in enthralling detail in the visions recounted in The Complete Vision of Anne Catherine Emmerich.² In his podcast, The Life of Jesus Christ in a Year, taken from the four-volume set of the same title, Fr. Edward Looney reads from the book and offers his insights that mirror the same captivating minutiae. ³ In Complete Visions, she sets the scene in a tense and crowded Jerusalem streetscape when, emerging from a flight of steps, a “tall elegant woman holding a little girl by the hand” hurries toward the procession. ² Her name is Seraphia, and she is the wife of a Temple council member named Sirach. The girl, about nine or ten, is her adopted daughter, and she is hiding a mug of spiced wine under her cloak to offer to the Lord. The two encountered resistance when trying to break through frontline guards.

“Transported with love and compassion, with the child holding fast to her dress, she pressed through the mob running at the side of the procession, in through the soldiers and executioners, stepped before Jesus, fell on her knees, and held up to Him the outspread end of the linen kerchief …” ²

The kerchief, sometimes called a cloth, sometimes the veil of Veronica, is described as “… a strip of fine wool about three times as long as wide. It was usually worn around the neck, and sometimes a second was thrown over the shoulder. It was customary upon meeting one in sorrow, in tears, in misery, in sickness, or in fatigue, to present it to wipe the face. It was a sign of mourning and sympathy.” ²

If that is not a sign of a caregiver, then what is?

Additionally, Bl. Anne Catherine goes on to say that Seraphia, who was older than the Blessed Mother, is a relative of Jesus through John the Baptist’s father, and that she knew Mary since the Queen of Heaven had been a little girl. Seraphia knew Jesus was the Messiah, having also been related to Simeon who helped to raise her, and that she made sure Jesus, as a 12-year old, was fed during the harried time Mary and Joseph were searching for Him only to find the boy preaching in His Father’s house. She literally was a family caregiver of various methods over the lifetime of Jesus Christ.

Our Lord’s sense of irony won’t be lost on many caregivers who feel unseen and unheard: the individual who cares for Him and preserves His image is absent in Scripture. 

Bl. Anne Catherine says so much about this courageous woman in only two pages of Complete Visions and also in The Life of Christ, including how she came to be known as “Veronica.” It means “true image.”² The cloth that the Vatican protects is often referred to as “The Veronica.” Like many who loved the Lord, she was later persecuted, arrested, and died a martyr from starvation. Her feast day is in July (12th), the same month this latest report on caregivers was released. She is heralded rightly as the patron saint of photographers and of laundresses. If we are to believe Bl. Anne Catherine Emmerich, however, she deserves as well to be regarded as patron of one of the most precious roles in modern society: the family caregiver.

Saint Veronica, pray for all caregivers!

 

1. AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, Caregiving in the US Research Report (Location unlisted July 2025), 7.

2. Emmerich, Anne Catherine and Catholic Book Club Editors, The Complete Visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich, Catholic Book Club. (Location unlisted 2014), 676.

3.  Looney, Edward. “Day 274: Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus. The Mystical City of God in a Year.” April 11, 2022. Audio Podcast, 35 min. 5 sec. https://open.spotify.com/episode/4JYwyULbJvqYggsXB3A0nU?si=Dm0ED69mSTS7jJJ6NuSnBQ

Featured Image by 🆓 Use at your Ease 👌🏼 from Pixabay

Copyright 2025 by Mary McWilliams

Edited by Rietta Parker

 

A Pal’s Eval

A Pal’s Eval

 

“What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will wear yourselves out, for the  thing is too heavy for you.”  –  Exodus 18:17,18

 

I contacted my church friend, Steve, who worked for a company that offered on-site consultations to those caring for an aging loved one at home.

Steve arrived on a Sunday afternoon – Mom and I met him at the door. Although Mom didn’t know why he was there, her antennae were up. Saying she didn’t want to intrude, Mom descended the six steps to the rec room as Steve and I sat at the kitchen table.

Eventually I checked on Mom and found her trying to listen in while simultaneously “organizing” the room. Books and videos were strewn everywhere. “Mom, would you like to join us?” I asked.

“I want to give you privacy,” she answered. I welcomed her up to the kitchen.

Mom sat at the table, eagerly listening as Steve discussed assisted living options. Suddenly she reached across the table to me, “We can do this, Sis!” she said eagerly.  Hmmm, I thought. Does she think we are siblings discussing options for a parent or is she trying to tell me something?

Steve and I finished and stood up as he gathered his papers. As we walked towards the door, Steve lowered his voice and offered his initial take on things.

“Your Mom is doing well,” he said, “But it’s full-time work for you amidst your own full-time life and family.” He promised a follow-up email containing a summary and recommendations.

Thank you, Lord, for kind friends who provide knowledgeable, unbiased advice.

Reflect: Are you weary from your full-time caregiving work on top of your own full-time life?  Know that God sees you laboring in the trenches and pray for wisdom.

 

The above selection is Entry #33 in Part IV: Summer Daze of Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey (© 2024, En Route Books and Media)

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

Meeting Bruder Klaus

Meeting Bruder Klaus

Part II

Niklaus von Flüe was born to a successful and well-respected Swiss farming family in the Flüeli-Ranft region near Sachseln, Canton Obwalden, Switzerland, in 1417. At the age of 30, he married a local teenager named Dorothy, and together they brought forth ten children, while Klaus maintained and extended his family’s position in his community. He served his community as a soldier, councilor, and judge. He was known for his strong moral conscience, practical prudence, and thoughtful wisdom. Then he received a call from God that changed everything.

Biographers, theologians and, most recently, psychologists have translated and interpreted in different ways the historical resources about mystical visions Bruder Klaus experienced throughout his life. These visions began while he was still in the womb. But all commentators have come away with deep respect for his genuine holiness.

The first biography was written by the Abbot of Einsiedeln Abbey while Niklaus was still alive (1). Bruder Klaus recognized both the places and people at his infant baptism, because he had seen them before he was born, and his adult spiritual director, Heiny am Grund of Lucerne, authenticated these recollections (2).

Bruder Klaus gave wise counsel that prevented a civil war from arising in a conflict between urban and rural cantons, at the Tagsatzung of Stans in 1481.

His direct and powerful experiences of God eventually led him to become a hermit in the Ranft, with his wife Dorothy’s full support. She continued to raise their family in their original family home, while his older sons worked the farm.

Bruder Klaus himself was illiterate. He drew maps of his encounters with a living God, and shared his drawings with trusted priests and monks as well as his loyal wife and children. As a man of the people and a man of his time, Bruder Klaus lived by the sacraments and prayer. He used images to communicate the ineffable.

His invincible moral character has continued to inspire pilgrimages to his simple home, and awe for his holiness, for more than six hundred years. He lived in a time of polarization, greed, and the violence of war – a time not unlike our own — through a century when even the Church was electing three conflicting popes.

And his legacy of faith has endured. He was beatified in 1669, and canonized in 1947 by Pope Pius XII.

I could go on and on myself, trying to tell you about Bruder Klaus.

What I really want to do today is to show you. Here’s an opportunity for a virtual pilgrimage of your own. I think you’ll find the film and images that follow worthy of meditation, should you feel inclined to experience the spirit of St. Niklaus, and his lasting impact, through traditional sounds and scenery of Switzerland that still resonate today. Film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=sm2Wjjs3-f0

Peace be with you.

Bruder Klaus Prayer

“My Lord and my God, take from me everything that distances me from you.
My Lord and my God, give me everything that brings me closer to you.
My Lord and my God, detach me from myself to give my all to you.”

Source, with attribution to the Catechism of the Catholic Church,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_of_Flüe

 

 

© Copyright 2025 by Margaret King Zacharias

Sources

  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_of_Flüe
  2. Von Franz, Marie-Louise, Niklaus von Flüe and Saint Perpetua: A Psychological Interpretation of Their Visions, Asheville, N.C., 2022, pp. 10-11, IP 15, fn. 13-24. This work is cited here for scholarly translation of original German biographical sources and summary of historical facts about Bruder Klaus, originally written in German and only recently translated; without endorsing all interpretations made in this volume, per the caveat offered in the book below.
  3. Ulanov, Anne Belford, and Dueck, Alvin, The Living God and Our Living Psyche: What Christians Can Learn from Carl Jung, B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2008. The authors warn that, although theology and psychology can each offer valuable insights to the other, they are not the same, and not all of their different perspectives always overlap or agree.

Images:

Featured Image: Main room of the home where St. Niklaus von Flüe lived with his wife Dorothy and ten children during the first half of his life. Attribution: A Pakeha, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons. File URL

Painting after the prayer wheel visions hand-drawn by St. Nicholas of Flüe. Attribution: Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Woodcut after the map of his visions, hand-drawn by St. Niklaus von Flüe. He called the original scrap he used for prayer in the humble Ranft hermitage, his “book.” Attribution: Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

 

 

Have You Doodled Today?

Have You Doodled Today?

Why Doodling, Graphic Novels, and Bible Journaling Belong in Every Catholic Writer’s Creative Life

I remember how I made my first friend in high school. On the school bus, I sat next to a blond-haired girl with wispy bangs and bright blue eyes. With her notebook on her lap, she taught me how to doodle an elephant. This was Josie’s signature doodle. She doodled that elephant all the time—even getting in trouble for it during class. Especially in Mr. Noble’s English class. He’d call on her for an answer and embarrass her for escaping once again into her elephant world of squiggly ears and squiggly trunks.

Because of this, I was too afraid to doodle in class until college. College was finally a space where students were treated as adults and given the freedom to learn in their own way. As I listened to lectures, fluttering butterflies and leafy vines climbed their way up and around the margins of my notebook. For me, doodling was a way to relax and allow the information to sink in.

Doodling as Creative Storytelling

When I had a baby during the COVID-19 lockdown, doodling became a way for me to linger on the page a little longer. After journaling about my day, I’d sketch a small scene alongside my entry. The drawings weren’t “good,” but they felt good.

Then I discovered One of Those Days, a funny comic series about first-time parenting. I immediately connected with the vivid scenes of real parenting moments. It opened my eyes to how graphic art can deeply resonate with readers—and to a new way of storytelling: memoir comics.

A Non-Artist’s Introduction to Comics: The Joy of SAW

Recently, I found the Sequential Artists Workshop (SAW), a nonprofit that offers comics courses and free Friday-night Zoom workshops. These weekly sessions draw people from all over the world. You don’t have to be an artist to join. I certainly don’t consider myself one—just a lifelong doodler.

People of all ages attend and make it their own. Some treat it as self-care time. Others show up with friends for a “creative happy hour.” And for me, it’s become a way to bond with my daughter, who’s a talented artist and graphic novel fan.

How Graphic Novels Helped My Daughter Fall in Love with Reading

I credit graphic novels with helping my daughter fall in love with reading and discover her artistic style. As a mom, I turned to graphic novels once I realized that my daughter wasn’t into traditional chapter books. Once I discovered her niche, I went all in. I’d buy her Archie comics in line at the grocery store and check out every graphic novel series I could find at our local library.

Why Catholic Writers Should Embrace Graphic Art

As Catholic writers, we often focus on words—Bible verses, Scripture reflections, essays. But art is also a powerful way to reflect, to pray, and to connect with others. In recent years, there’s been a rise in Bible journaling, doodling in the margins of Scripture, and Christian adult coloring books as tools for stress relief and meditation.

Catholic publishers are taking note, too. Graphic novels like The Saint Chronicles by Sophia Institute Press and The Action Bible by David C. Cook bring saints and sacred stories to life through stunning visual storytelling. These Christian comics are a wonderful way to reach young readers—especially those, like my daughter, who prefer illustrated formats.

Explore Other Creative Communities

If you’re looking for new ways to be creative and feel inspired, I encourage you to check out SAW’s Friday Night Workshops. I promise you won’t get in trouble for doodling. And who knows? You might even make a new friend or discover a whole new way to tell your story.

 

Copyright 2025 Janet Tamez

Edited by Gabriella Batel

Accepting Onions

Accepting Onions

by Paula Veloso Babadi

“For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead!” (Romans 11:15)

My husband and I recently celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary.  There was no big party or extravagant vacation, just a quiet dinner reminiscing about what a journey it had been. We were grateful to be where we are now through tears and laughter, peaks and valleys. Then, my husband reminded me proudly that after all these years he was still my onion!

Something as simple as an onion contains contradictions. When it is pulled from the ground, it is at once intense, pungent, and strong, yet so easily torn by handling its delicate skin. It is sweet when sautéed, but causes us to cry in its raw state.  Scientists have tried to suppress the onion enzyme that brings on the tears, but in doing so, they discovered their engineering caused unwanted changes in the onion’s essence and compromised its health benefits.

Over the years, I learned that soaking an onion in water before you chop it can lessen tears, that the flavor becomes sweeter when sautéed gently on lower heat, and that when peeling, be careful because the best nutrition is preserved under that first skin. You could say the same about my own “onion.”  I decided long ago to accept onions (and my husband) as they are, without alteration— to endure raw tears and enjoy delectable taste.  My husband and I laugh over a poem I wrote about our relationship (below). We have been through raw, sweet, and savory times. You know what I mean: I love onions, but they still make me cry now and then. 

 

Accepting Onions

by Paula Veloso Babadi

 

I’m an onion through and through.

You like me when I’m in the stew, 

Flavor mingling with the rest

I think that’s when you like me best.

When you face me raw, I make you cry,

My taste too strong for you to try,

But persevere and you will find

The secrets in each layer of mine— 

For though my flavor is intense,

My benefits are quite immense.

Polyphenols, flavenoids,

Boost the heart, fill diet voids.

They reside in my first layer,

So peel me with the greatest care.

Anti-bacterial, good with liver,

Even helps with the blood sugar.

To get these benefits, you must commit

to take me daily and never quit.

Don’t like onions? Think again,

I give you paper from my skin.

Pungent taste enjoyed through time

I’m the star of feta, pita, herbs, and wine.

 

Those who’ve learned to appreciate me

Discovered there’s more than what they see.

I know I’m harsh and sometimes rotten, then

You throw me out, completely forgotten.

But I’m also tasty, savory, and sweet.

The choice is yours whether or not to eat.

And when my Panthial S-Oxide makes you cry

Remember my qualities that elicit a sigh.

I may be just your onion,

In some ways good and some not,

But without you to complete me,

I’m only food in the pot.

It’s when you accept me for what I am,

I become the finest pick in the land.

 

Copyright 2025 by Paula Veloso Babadi 

Edited by Gabriella Batel

Bed Mime

Bed Mime

In peace I will both lie down and sleep. – Psalm 4:8 (RSVCE)

I didn’t know Mom was a stomach sleeper until the last year of her life.  At bedtime, I would walk with her to the bathroom sink and hand her a warm, wet washcloth with which she dutifully scrubbed her face. Next, I would load the toothbrush with toothpaste and give it to her. She diligently and vigorously gave her teeth a thorough brushing. Although she taught me how to brush my teeth as a child, I realized now my current toothbrushing pattern was cursory compared to hers.

Next, I’d assist Mom with her nightgown. A nightgown – not pajamas. In winter, it was a flannel nightie – usually white with a delicate floral blue pattern. In summer, it was a sheer, short-sleeved shift in pastel pink or green.

Once Mom was ready for bed, I would pull back the covers and watch as she climbed in, listening to her express how good it felt to get into bed. I would adjust the pillow and watch her turn and get settled on her stomach. There was a specific way she placed her right hand up near her face and slid her left arm down alongside her body. Once Mom positioned herself that way, I knew sleep would soon follow.

There’s an intimacy in knowing whether someone is a stomach sleeper, side sleeper, or back sleeper. These were things I’m sure Dad knew well, but now I was learning them about Mom.

Thank You, Lord, that You know our ways completely.

Reflect: What special things have you learned about your loved one while caregiving?  Cherish the intimacy and thank the Lord for the privilege of knowing.

The above selection is Entry #26 in Part III: Eternal Spring of Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey (© 2024, En Route Books and Media)

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

Photo copyright: Canva

The four temperaments from a Catholic perspective: a review of Piety and Personality

The four temperaments from a Catholic perspective: a review of Piety and Personality

“The Almighty and All-merciful God … would not have created us with a temperament that was a stumbling block to our salvation. On the contrary, He gave us exactly the right temperament to help us gain Heaven.” — Rosemary McGuire Berry

The Lord has “counted the hairs” on our head (Mt. 10:30), just one passage often used to express how intimately He knows and cherishes His creations – from our hair to our thoughts, our actions, and our temperaments. Every quirk and strength, the Lord God made them all in us, although being humans, we are inclined to distort, ignore, and throw off balance the grace-filled characteristics he molded within us. Sinful, yes, but we are ultimately intended for His Kingdom and the tendencies toward laziness, brashness, hopelessness, and any traits we fight on a daily basis, are all under His continuous watch.

Even the saints, often depicted in beautiful, flower-adorned books and prayer cards as serene, other-worldly beings, battled their human weaknesses just like we do. Yet, they reached the Kingdom and so can we.

That’s the point of the Spring 2025 release of Piety and Personality: The Temperaments of the Saints (Tan Books), a first issue by Rosemary McGuire Berry. She offers a beginner examination, through the actions of 16 well-known and beloved saints, of the four temperaments, or humors, first established by Hippocrates: Choleric, Melancholic, Phlegmatic, and Sanguine. With this understanding, a dab of self-awareness, and significant persistence and prayer, we can begin to overcome our less desirable inclinations. If this sounds like another “self-help” book in an already saturated multibillion dollar industry, she cleverly enters through the specific niche of the Catholic audience, referring to Catholic practices such as praying the Rosary and going to Confession.

She states her purpose up front: that saints weren’t born holy; they worked at it and so can we, right now, in our difficult world.

“If we study our weaknesses, we can battle them more effectively,” she advises. “If we acknowledge our strengths, we can thank our Maker and work to develop those good tendencies” (p. 3), an angle takes it beyond the modern notion of “self-help.”

She quotes Father Joseph Massmann from his book, Nervousness, Temperament and the Soul, who contends we are duty-bound to understand our imperfections and strive to improve:

“‘The man who is not striving to become a better man resists the truth and keeps out of its way. For those who are striving after inward perfection – even for those who merely want to make a success of life – it is useful, indeed necessary, to examine these questions’” (pp.2-3, Berry).

Additionally, if we recognize the distinctive traits, people we don’t understand will begin to make more sense to us. The dominant, fearless, opinionated, “big picture” boss might have similarities with the Choleric St. Paul. The impulsive sister who always acts before she thinks might be a Sanguine, like St. Peter. That sullen boy could be a sympathetic Melancholic like the Little Flower.

“The Almighty and All-merciful God … would not have created us with a temperament that was a stumbling block to our salvation. On the contrary, He gave us exactly the right temperament to help us gain Heaven,” the author writes (p. 4).

She opens with brief paragraphs that generally describe each of the four. Then she jumps right into the saints and why she thinks a specific saint owns that particular temperament. This method of organization speaks to the point of the title, but at times, particularly in the chapters on St. Francis de Sales and St. Peter, while enjoyable, can be confusing and repetitive. In both, she moves on to address other saints of the same temperament, perhaps to give additional examples of the trait, but sometimes it sounds as though she is trying to force the saint to fit the trait. St. Francis de Sales is described as “Melancholic-Choleric” in the chapter title and she spends the first few pages talking about the Choleric disposition. She notes, however, that, upon studying his life and words, Choleric is the least of his traits. To her point, she impresses upon the reader that, ideally, we want to become a balance of the best of all four traits, which St. Francis de Sales achieved through a great deal of prayer, intention, and work.

Arguably, the most fascinating, tightly written and even poignant sections are on two Phlegmatic Thomases: Aquinas and More.

In the chapter on St. Thomas Aquinas, Mrs. Berry digs into his thorny family relations and the wreckage that is left when one strong personality dominates through its imbalanced state, essentially beating up on the meeker one. She reckons that his mother and brothers were ambitious Cholerics. The meditative and peaceful Thomas did not share their interests, and he was labeled slow and lazy. Often the “silent watchers,” Phlegmatics, she explains, “… do not have to battle their passions of anger, impatience, and dramatic tempestuous sorrow …. They are born calmer and more laid-back” (p. 139). The St. Thomas Aquinas chapter, more than any other in the book, shows the clashing of misunderstood personalities, particularly the child-parent relationship and sibling dynamics.

The piece on St. Thomas More demonstrates the Phlegmatic’s work ethic and eternal optimism, even in the most harrowing circumstances. His love of family radiates throughout the chapter. The author fills the section with writings of the martyred saint that show his peace, humor, diligence, and holiness.

Mrs. Berry offers helpful sidebar tips on each page to make the most of strong traits and help turn around the weaker ones. The author draws insightful distinctions between “good sadness” and “bad sadness,” and “meekness” versus “weakness”.

More than an offering an entertaining side of the saints, the book doles out information to give us another tool to help bring us closer to God and, perhaps, be more compassionate with one another. If Piety and Personality can give families more awareness of the misunderstood sides of one another to bring harmony and acceptance into the home, it’s worth the price.

© Copyright 2025 by Mary McWilliams

Feature Photo by Raka Miftah: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-eggs-on-a-concrete-surface-4216386/

Inset photo by Mary McWilliams

Massman, Joseph. Nervousness, Temperament and the Soul. Roman Catholic Books: Fort Collins, CO, 1941.

 

Caddy Back

Caddy Back

 

By Lisa Livezey

My lord, thou knowest that I have with me tender children.
—Genesis 33:13 (DRB)

 

Outside Mom’s house sat three vehicles. There was the 26-foot camper parked near the patio, the old gray Buick Century Sedan that Dad had used around town and kept running with duct tape and spit, and finally the tenth-generation beige Cadillac de Ville— reserved for more dignified occasions.

Soon after Dad died, my son—savvy with Craigslist—helped sell the Buick for several hundred bucks. As for the camper, winter wasn’t the best time to sell. Plus, I lacked the time and energy just then to clean and empty it out. Then there was the Caddy which offered a quiet, padded ride—like sitting in the lounge of a fancy hotel.

Despite the Cadillac’s availability, we had been chauffeuring Mom to daily activities in my car or that of her aide. But when riding shotgun, Mom was tense and frequently burst forth with exclamations of dismay at the mere passing of another car.

I discovered that if Mom sat in the middle of the Cadillac’s backseat, she would ride contentedly along in peace. Thus, I didn’t sell the Cadillac and began driving Mom around in the vehicle where she felt most comfortable. It was Mom’s car, after all, and hers to enjoy.

Lord, we are but weak children. Thank you for Your provision of tender care.

Reflect: Is there something in your loved one’s life that provides physical comfort? Is there a tangible way in which God shows His tender care for you? Take a moment to thank the Lord for His provisions.

 

The above selection is Entry #17 in Part II: Weathering Winter of Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey (© 2024, En Route Books and Media)

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

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