Who Do You Say That I Am?

By Janice Lane Palko

You’ve seen those Ancestry commercials about people who believe they are one race or nationality and then take a DNA test and find out they are not who they thought they were. My husband could be featured in one of those commercials.

This past Christmas, I bought him a DNA test because my parents had had their DNA tested as a gift for me and my siblings. Hence, I thought testing my husband would give our children a clearer picture of their genetic heritage.

My parents’ tests confirmed what my great-grandparents and grandparents had always told me—that I was predominantly Irish, with a splash of English, Welsh, and German. My hubby has always believed that he is half Italian and half Slovak. Imagine our surprise then when I opened the Ancestry email two days after Christmas and learned that he was 29 percent Italian, 25 percent Slovak, and, faith and begorrah, 19 percent Irish! Where did his green roots come from? We still have no idea.

My mother, whose maiden name is Hughes, registered 11 percent Irish and 50 percent Great Britain. Technically, my husband was more Irish than my Irish mother. The target of good-natured jokes from my family over the decades for not being Irish, my hubby now is one of the clan. He has taken great delight in his newly found heritage, lording it over my family, prompting him to don his “Who’s Your Paddy?” T-shirt reserved only for St. Patrick’s Day wear. The axis of our world has shifted a bit, and now I will have to throw away the “Honorary Irishman” button I gave him 36 years ago when we were first dating.

Accompanying the DNA test came a free month’s subscription to the Ancestry website, and I took full advantage of it. I discovered some things along the way. I learned that one paternal great-grandfather, James Lane, had a mother named Mary, a sister named Mary, two wives named Mary as well as a daughter named Mary, which made keeping all the Marys straight very difficult. I learned that a maternal great-great grandfather, who the family had been told had died when my great-grandmother was very young, most likely skipped town to take up with another woman in Colorado. I also learned that my English great-great grandmother who owned a bar, smoked a pipe, had a tattoo, and a pet parrot (I must have descended from sea captains.) and had 13 children was not widowed as had been reported by my late grandfather. She had divorced her husband as her marriage license to her second husband, my great-great-grandfather, stated because of “cruelty and barbaric abuse.” She went on to have a set of twins, one of whom was my great-grandmother. While Catholics dominated my heritage (hence the myriad Marys), I did find some Welsh Baptists and Cornish Methodists among the lot.

However, the most stunning discovery was that I had a fifth great-grandfather, Martin Short, (not to be confused with the comedian and actor), who came from Dublin in 1750 to the U.S. and fought at the battles of Bunker Hill and Yorktown and crossed the Delaware with General George Washington.

In addition, I learned some other, more important things. First, life matters. Although in this day and age, we treat it rather cavalierly, why, if life were not so important, would our ancestors have taken such pains to record births and deaths and chronicle who we have descended from?

Second, as writers, we provide a link to the past. I taught memoir writing for a number of years, and I always urge everyone to write their life story. What we put on paper today may one day offer clues, insights, or inspiration to someone yet to be born.

Third, you are dead for a very long time. My searches revealed a few relatives who died days after birth or as young children and one centenarian. However, no matter how long any of them lived, most have now been dead longer than they were alive, and with each passing day, they are even “deader.”

We will all eventually be dead longer than we have been alive. Therefore, plan accordingly. Make the most of your time on stage. Dream big, write beautifully, love with passion, leave a legacy. And all the while, prepare for your eternity. What you do now will determine where you will be later.

Finally, whether you think you are one nationality or ethnicity and you find out that you are not, or whether you find heroes or scoundrels or just common housekeepers, coal miners, railroad laborers, or shopkeepers in your background or not, it really doesn’t matter. Jesus posed this question of his disciples: Who do you say that I am? We should also ponder the converse. Who does He say that we are? What is our real identity? What He tells us is that we are His fallen creation, who He reclaimed for Himself on the cross so that we could become His beloved children and live with Him in eternity.

While it is interesting to know where you’ve come from, it’s more important to know where you’re going. That supersedes any knowledge of our earthly identity. Cling to your heavenly heritage because it’s the only one that truly lasts.

Onward & Forward into 2016—‘Laughing Still Allowed’

by Larry Peterson

I had written sporadically over the years but I really started my ”prolific,” overzealous writing career in earnest about seven or eight years ago. I had taken C.S. Lewis’ advice and grabbed onto his quote, “You are never too OLD to set a new GOAL or to dream a new DREAM.” So I pulled out the old work I had squirreled away and before I could sharpen a pencil my expanding internal dictionary of adjectives was stopped in its tracks. I had to be operated on for prostate cancer.

The recovery process was a bit tough (part of that included having 30 staples plucked out of my forbidden zone, which was not pleasant, nor was catheter removal) but, no problem—the cancer was gone and still is seven years later. God obviously was not ready for me. So, I headed back to the keyboard and mouse. I thanked Him then and I have thanked Him every day since.

Then Martha was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Onward into the world of chemotherapy cycles which included her losing her hair, not once but twice. The second time she asked me to just shave her head and get it over with. I did and we laughed as she turned into cue ball redux. Then her memory began to produce  strange and forgetful behavior. I thought it was “chemo-brain” but it wasn’t. During that time I managed to have a children’s book published, followed by my novel.  (That publisher went out of business—another story for another time).

Ratcheting up my caregiver duties, I still completed another novel called “Destination Homeless.” That was about two years ago and all I have “left to do” is a final edit. I also have my latest novel almost done; it has a publisher and is already out on Amazon in volume form. Plus, over the years, I have written over 600 blogs. I had written more than I thought, which surprised me because it seemed like I was never getting anything done.

Anyway, a year ago I wrote an article for the CWG blog titled, “Celebrating Our First Christmas with Alzheimer’s Disease: Laughter Allowed.” Martha’s cognitive problems had started about a year and a half prior to that time so, as we march onward into 2016, we are about two and a half years down the Alzheimer road. Things are not the same as they were even a year ago. (Alzheimer’s Disease is one illness that cannot be cured, stopped, or even slowed).

Last year’s blog had in its title the words, “Laughter Allowed.” Well, for the past three (maybe four or five) months my writing has seemingly run into a major obstacle. There was a large brick wall in front of me and I was unable to type past it. The blogs became fewer and the novel was stuck in neutral. I was actually getting a bit freaked out about it and beginning to worry that I was turning into sludge. I was probably being a bit hard on myself because when you take care of an Alzheimer’s patient and do the shopping, the cooking, the daily distribution of various meds 4X a day, deal with all the doctors  (scheduling, visits, weekly blood draws, port flushes etc.), do the bill paying, home maintenance, etc., and then try to find “quiet” time to fit writing into the equation, that is when you can suddenly go blank. I did. Then came Thanksgiving.

The family all got together at Larry Jr’s. My three kids were there and my seven grandkids and we all had a grand time eating all the traditional Thanksgiving foods, watching football and hanging out together. On the way home Marty said to me, “What are we having for dinner?”

Actually, for a moment, I thought she was making a joke. But she wasn’t you see. She did not remember. I said, “Are you kidding me? We just had turkey and all the fixings for Thanksgiving. Don’t you remember? We just left Larry’s house five minutes ago.” Then the reality of the moment hit… Damn, I do hate Alzheimer’s Disease. Anyway, she looked at me and I at her and we both began to laugh. As ridiculous as it sounds it was a great moment for both of us.  Then I remembered—“Laughter allowed.”

Christmas is now over and I am writing this and I am extra thankful for Thanksgiving 2015. That day helped me snap back to the words in the title of last year’s blog. Laughing freed me up and I have actually spent some time on the final chapter of the Demons of Abadon. As for my dear wife, Martha, she is somewhat content in her own convoluted world. She does not remember Christmas Day. However, strange as it may seem, everything is okay. That is because on Thanksgiving Night, 2015, our unexpected and improbable friend, Laughter, returned. (I like to think it was a Christmas angel sent from above to help us out).

Once again I have relearned something I already knew and let slip by—no matter what is happening, when you have faith—laughing is allowed. It is God’s pressure relief valve and He installed one of these valves in each of us. More people need to let it go off once in a while. That’s it for 2015. Happy New Year, happy writing and God’s blessings to you all.

©Larry Peterson 2016

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